Rugby World Cup Final in Riyadh

We've just got home from watching the Rugby World Cup Final at the New Zealand Embassy here in Riyadh.  It was a great night.

Congrats to the Boys in Black, their coaching team and everyone invovled in getting them that 1 point win.  Talk about make us sweat!!

Hats off to the French who gave everything in this game.  They were worthy RWC finalists, contrary to what news reports wanted you to believe in days prior.  (We have spent a fair bit of time from our Saudi located couch slagging the media for their rather negative reporting about many things to do with the RWC).  

Many thanks to the folks at the NZ Embassy for allowing Kiwi expats, French expats and rugby mad expats from other nations, who are currently based in Riyadh, the opportunity to come and watch some of the AB games on the big screen.

Putting these events on for we expats is, I've been told, not actually part of the embassy job description - they do it out of the goodness of their hearts and the knowledge that life here, away from friends, family and normalcy, isn't always rosy.

Our Ambassador and his staff give a great deal of thought to how best to assist Kiwi's who live in this region and promote New Zealand to other nations.  Our country's reputation is at stake should their decision not be carefully considered.  In this case they concluded that, regardless of whether or not the AB's  made the finals, as NZ is the host country of the RWC, our little embassy should extend Kiwi hospitality to rugby fans, and interested Saudi's, here in the desert.

They have done a great job. 
As one of those without access to Orbit, Hubby and I are extremely grateful.

There were a lot of expats at the embassy tonight.  Many had deliberately stayed away from any news of the game which was played in NZ earlier in the day.  Saturday in Saudi is a work day....access to Orbit to watch the rugby live while at work is not possible for many expats here.  Those who could watch the game live, kept mum about the result.

I would have pictures of the New Zealand Embassy occassion but mobile phones and cameras are not allowed on the embassy grounds.  The RWC ice sculpture of a Silver Fern, a Kiwi and the Web Ellis Trophy was beautiful and kindly provided by Al Khozarma Hotel, as was the celebratory cake for dessert.  Eric, the GM of the hotel, is an absolute gem and a great supporter of the NZ Embassy.  He's also an excellent chef so it goes without saying the food at the Al Khozarma restaurants is outstanding.

Reports from whanau back home say that NZ put on a wonderful rugby tournament, with folks getting behind all the teams who came to town, while national fervour and excitement of the AB's in the final built to fever pitch with All Black flags waving from homes, cars and babes in pushchairs.  (A few All Black flags even made it the embassy tonight).

The whanau back home planned all things around this final.  The Piri Mokena Tournament (otherwise known as Marae Wars) held every Labour Weekend in Kaeo finished in time for folks to settle in front of their tellies to watch how the big boys play.  Mum gave me updates on Facebook.  Patunga didn't make the final this year :(

It would have been nice to be at home enjoying the celebrations of the All Black win, but life has brought us to the other side of the globe, so it's comforting that we have a place where we can join fellow countrymen and women to support and enjoy events like the Rugby World Cup final, here in Saudi Arabia.

Mum in Riyadh

My Mum is in Riyadh. She arrived the other night.  It's her first visit to Saudi Arabia.

She's been doing my dishes and my washing.  She also had a peek in my oven, I'm presuming to see whether or not it works so she can whip up an apple pie at some point in her stay.  I love Mum's apple pie.

We met in Dubai so she could have a look around that city for a couple of days prior to her visit to the Magic Kingdom.  In Dubai we traveled around on the Big Red Bus tour and a took a trip up Burj Khalifa, enjoyed the magic of the dancing Dubai Fountains and visited the Heritage Village.  Basically we did a bunch of touristy type things - a hectic two days after a long flight from NZ.

The bus stop at Wafi Mall

Mum's Saudi experience really began in the departure lounge at Dubai airport as we by-passed the Worker Bee men lined up at the entry to the air bridge and then, because we're frequent flyers, we weaved our way through their waiting lines so we could board the aircraft bound for KSA before them. 

The workers queue early for flights.  It's as if they are afraid they may get turfed from the plane if they are not IN the queue.  Unfortunately, knowing Saudi as I do, theirs is a reasonable fear.

On arrival in Riyadh a stop off at the loo is required so we could don the appropriate mark of womanhood - the Black Garb.  Fortunately Riyadh airport was not very busy the evening we flew in.  The queue for western types was not long at all, so we were through in a jiffy.  Even getting Mums bag was a synch.

And there to meet us was Mr Noor.  He's been saying, 'Kei te pai' in response to her 'Kia ora'  every time she hops in the car.

Mum has been in Riyadh for four days.
She came here to rest.

So far, this is what she has done -

• First evening catch up chit chat with Glenn at the coffee shop - in bed late cos there was a lot to talk about.
• Next morning we went to the gym for Afro Dance - tribal dancing type of exercises.  That evening was dinner with some friends - started at 9.30 pm finished around 1am.
• Thursday was an early morning trip to the fish market, a look at Masmuk Fort and a bit of a walk round Diirah to look at trinkets followed by a visit to Riyadh Gallery Mall to look at modern things.  That evening we took her to an Embassy do - in bed by midnight.

• Friday she got to sleep in while Glenn and I went bike riding.  A dip in the pool that afternoon and early'ish to bed - after sorting out her farm on Facebook of course.
• Today it was a trawl of the Gold Souq at Taiba, and a walk home cos I mis-timed Salat so the cafe was shut.  It's so annoying when that happens.  You'd think by now I'd have my timing down.  Fortunately it's not a long walk.  Tonight is dinner with a Saudi family that starts at 9.30pm.

She has found it a little hot...not surprising given the temps are up around 50 degrees during the day.

I'm not sure how much rest Mum is getting in Riyadh, but she has time to knit....

...and her game playing time on Facebook has not suffered at all.






Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Gone Local

I made Glenn laugh with the phrase,' We've Gone Local'.

He laughed because we were the only westerners in a mall in an outer suburb of Riyadh.  Why? 

We'd decided to go for a 'G & G Tiki Tour' to see the sights - which means we ended up walking around in a part of town we'd never been before.  Salat was approaching and we wanted to find somewhere to sit it out.  Not the easiest thing to do in the suburbs of Riyadh.

My current experience of dining out in the 'burbs of Riyadh is limited to drive by's in a taxi.  I have gleened via this process that there are very few coffee shops in the outer suburbs.

There are eateries like Pita's Wrap or Shwarma-ville (akin to a Kiwi chinese takeaway or fish n chip shop), but quality coffee isn't on the menu.  To be honest, from the look of some of these places, quality food might be in short supply too.  Aren't I a snob!

What I have garnered from my seat by the taxi window, when not taking goony camera shots to pass the time away....

...is that none of the above style eateries in Riyadhs' suburbia have Family Sections.  I'd love to be corrected on that.

Women in the outer suburbs of Riyadh obviously only eat and drink at home, at friends or family homes or at the local mall.  Which is why, when I spotted what looked to be a mall, we made a beeline for the door - we only had 15 minutes and it turns out, we needed all of them.

 My question to the first staff person I saw was 'Do you speak English?'
Yes

Great. Where can I get a cup of coffee?

His gesture indicated I should wait a moment.
He called over a colleague, planted him in front of us and walked away.

(In Arabic) Do you speak English?

Yes.

(In English) Can you tell me where I can get a cup of coffee?

He didn't gesture.  He just turned around, walked away and sent over another colleague.
Third time lucky.  Deep breath.  Here we go....

Do you speak English?

Yes

Where can I go for a cup of coffee?

SUCCESS!!!

He took me to the door, pointed to the escalotor and said (in arabic) 'Go up.'
Shukran jaziilan (thanks lots).

We went up and there it was - the Food Hall. 

It was a bit rough - broken seats, dirty tables, rubbish and three vendors.  Two didn't really appeal to me, one had a picture of cafe latte - that's the one I headed for.

The guy at the food counter could only understand English as it related to how much I owed him (funny that).  That is, of course, after lots of slow talking, bad Arabic and hand signs ended up with me not getting what I wanted and settling for something he understood.

The coffee, once we tried it, was awful and loaded with sugar - Saudi's definitely have a sweet tooth.

And we had a Shadow.

I'd actually spotted The Shadow when we were walking around outside.  A young guy, about 12 years old in thobe and headwear, must have been fascinated by us because he followed us into the mall and up to the Food Hall.  He even stood right at the counter as I was attempting to order, and watched.

It wasn't a disconcerting watching.  Not like the Arab man in Dubai. 

No, I think he really was just curious.  I wished Glenn was learniing Arabic because he could have tried to engage him in conversation.  The performance which saw me settling for very bad Nescafe had used up my reserves of 'thinking in Arabic' energy.  Plus I wasn't sure he'd talk to a lady anyway.  (In hindsight two very poor excuses for not even trying.)

Salat arrived and all staff headed to the nearest mosque - all looking without trying to be obvious.  Westerners must be a rarity in here.  Either that, or they were hoping we'd still be here after salat to spend up large in their shop.

There were two things we concluded as we drank our coffee and waited for our taxi driver - I really need to get better at my Arabic and we had definitely gone local today.

Time Out Trip

I'm still taking time out in New Zealand.  I have two weeks left of my holiday and then it's back to the land of the sand.  There was a suggestion that revolutionary activity planned within the country, a carry over from what is happening elsewhere, would force me to extend my time out a weeny bit longer.  I think I knew deep down that was unlikely.

Although only a recent resident to the Magic Kingdom I have gleened a couple of pertinent things (actually I'm aware of lots of things, but for now I'm talking about this one thing) which is, and if I have this wrong I am, as usual, happy to be corrected, Saudi's don't really like to make a huge fuss about things - except perhaps family responsibilities and hospitality.  Making huge noise and carry on is considered quite....undignified.  

Marching has never, not since I've lived there anyway, struck me as a Saudi kind of thing to do. Other Arab nations are hard core marchers and demonstrators.  Saudi's, generally speaking, at this point in time, are not.

Well, that explains the non-event of the Saudi uprising.  Simple really.
That and the army, the national guard and threat of arrest....and apparently it was raining.

I have gathered, in my short time in Riyadh, that Saudi's prefer a more respectful, thoughtful, educated approach to dealing with issues, any issues, not just reform issues.

Noise and fuss is out, Thoughtful, respectful and educated is in.

Actually, the governments threat of cutting off the internet for a week was probably more of a deterrent to protest that army presence on every street corner.  This young generation is loving the net right now.  It's a way for them to hear and be heard....which in the first instance is what they want - to be allowed a voice and not sent to the corner for 'Time Out' like naughty, insignificant children.

Surfing the net one night I read somewhere that the locals have every right to request an audience with their leader if they so desire.  Given that there's about 20 million or so locals, fulfilling this obligation would keep the king a rather busy man.

I wonder if it has occurred to the Powers That Be that cutting off the new generations means of communication (the internet) will only exacerbate their need to be heard, not squash it. 

Probably not!

If they were bright cookies, The Powers would set up a website of their own where locals could send in suggestions for a better nation.  Of course, it would have to be manned by people who didn't take constructive criticism personally...(Hmmm....where might we find peeps like that in Saudi?)

From a western protest point of view the Saudi way of doing things can seem like 'you're goin so slow you're goin backwards.'  I guess if you're a Saudi wanting change it can feel like that too.  Actually, the Saudi approach to reforms reminds me of Cat Stevens song 'Father and Son'.

The upshot of the lack of turmoil in Saudi is that I will be heading back there in two weeks and I think I'm sort of, kinda looking forward to it.

OMG! That's unbelievable Kiwi.
I know...I never thought I'd say something like that.

I'm looking forward to seeing hubby again - that's top of my list (he will be surprised).
I'm looking forward to catching up with my fellow expatriate friends and Saudi ladies and hearing what they have been up to.
I'm looking forward to having a swimming pool at my back doorstep again and warm sunny days.
And I'm looking forward to some new activities.

Yep, I think I'm ready to head back into the fray of Saudi's slow, unusual yet somehow fascinating life. 

Of course, to keep complete boredom from setting in, which it has a tendency to do in Saudi, I have a strategy - I'm signing up for Distance and Online study courses.  Online courses may be a little difficult, what with the Powers That Be always threatening to cut the internet, though I'm keeping a positive attitude. 

There is a chance that in a couple of months I may look back on this entry and wonder 'what the heck was I thinking looking forward to going back to Saudi...I must have been nuts.' 

I have a strategy for that too...another time out trip.  Now where do you think I should go for that?





Ka Kite,
Kiwi

The Desert Calls From New Zealand

I'm back in New Zealand right now.  The whanau have a couple of occasions coming up, so instead of following the expat crowd out over Christmas and New Year I hung around Riyadh until a couple of weeks ago when I headed home to Aotearoa.

I'm loving being back.

The green grass, the sandy beaches, wearing shorts everywhere.  Spending days with the whanau, being able to visit my Dad, catching up with friends.  Walking round the neighbourhood of a morning and wishing a friendly 'good morning' or 'kia ora' to other early riser exercisers.  Enjoying the gorgeous evenings outdoors with beer and a Bar-B or Fish 'n' Chips at the park.

Dad and whanau

And vege gardens - they are chocker heavy with summer abundance right now.  Tonight, I ate a cucumber proudly presented by a young guy from his first garden.  It was delish!  Yep - I'm loving being back in NZ right now.

Will I stay?  No.

I'd love to.  I really would, but....

The desert, to my surprise, is calling me back.  Not the heat, not the dress code, not Salah and not the gender segregation.  No, those I can defintiely do without.  But, there are things we still have to do before I can say, with great certainty and confidence, that I have experienced Saudi Arabia.

Desert Camping is one of those things. 
Eating camel is another.
Getting an invite to a Saudi wedding would be awesome.  I'd have to lose weight to buy an over the top dress and spend and entire day getting my hair and nails done.  OMG!....am I turning into a Saudi lady?

The fact is, The Husband set some goals when he first decided to live and work in Saudi and I would be a less than supportive wife if I caved before reaching those goals.  And I don't cave.  No way Hose'! 

OK, so the boredom factor does get a little scary now and then (Dad has Alzheimers and I do worry that I'm going brain dead in Riyadh) and the lazy factor has seriously widened my waist, but I am totally confident The Universe will provide me with a whizz bang fantastic purpose when I get back to Saudi.  Plus more than a few out and about excursions and lots of new buddies to spend my time with. 

(You can hear me can't you....'Come on Universe...Roll me a double 6 and make sure I've got money on it!')

New Zealand is our home and we can always go back there but Saudi is our adventure and we're not done yet.




Ka Kite,
Kiwi

One Year And Treading Water

Happy New Year!  It is Jan 1st 2011. Exactly one year ago today I arrived in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.
What do I think?  How do I feel about my life here after one year?  Oh, how many adjectives are there in the dictionary...I don't actually need all of them.  In truth how I'm feeling after one year in Saudi is simple, yet sad.  I feel like I am treading water.

There is a surreal feeling to my life in Saudi.  It's almost as if I'm in this pretend life and I'm just waiting for when I'm going to wake up.

Well isn't that a downer! 

Gees Kiwi we were hoping for so much more, like How you've settled in and finding your feet and doin all sorts of weird and wonderful stuff....

Sorry.

I watched a movie the other night, where the girl comes to buy a lottery ticket with a sour lemon face and and guy selling the ticket says, 'You just want to bring people down with a face like that don't you?'

The last thing I want is to bring anyone down, but life is what life is.  If I was to look at why I'm here, the answer is simple.  I am here as The Husbands wife.  My sole purpose is to keep him company while he works in this challenging environment.  To stop him feeling lonely.  And to be his tax break.  That's it.

After one year I can tell you, I think I need a more meaty purpose. 

It's hard being an expat woman in Saudi without a real purpose.  It's easy to not move from your home till after 4pm when the shops open, or worse still, when The Husband gets home from work after 6pm.  It's easy to hire a cleaner to do all your housework.  It's easy to eat out every day so you never have to visit your kitchen.  It's easy to pointlessly traipse through malls.  It's very easy to be a nobody, wrapped in black.  It's also easy to lie around in your compound and do nothing.  It's far too easy.  On those days I feel my brain is drying up into this prune state.  Wrinkled and pointless with not much by way of zapping synapses going on at all. 

There are days when I have to kick myself into action.  It's time to visit the gym.  It's time to write something in your blog, It's time to thumb through my list of expat phone friends and find some place to go.  It's time to jump in the car and drive.....No Kiwi, you cant' do that - Ahh, what a bitch! 

It's been one year since I arrived in Riyadh and I guess I've settled in.  I know how things operate and I can get myself around although, apparently, I'm still classed as a 'newby'.  (I wonder when one becomes 'seasoned' as a Riyadh expat).  In the great summing up of Living in Saudi, I have to say, it ain't that bad.   It's not home, but it's not the hell on earth other people try to tell you it is.  Different yes.  Hell, no.

I have decided that I can do one more year in this bizarre dream-like life.  The Husband is talking 3-5.  Let's hope he learns how to handle the jandal on his own over the next year, cos after that, he's on his own.  Unless I find my meaty purpose and can stop treading water.  Then, we'll see.

Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Christmas in Riyadh

Christmas Evening in Riyadh -  Gees I could've done my hair.

I was hoping to regale you all with tales of Christmas in Riyadh.  What we did, who we saw, where we went.  All that.  Instead, I was sick with a flu, or something, which has been going around.  Grrreat!

What are the symptoms, because as I write I am still undergoing some of them?  Chills, shakes, body aches, major headache, zombie head, loss of appetite.  I know I told the universe I don't want to get carried away on food this Christmas, and if this is the universe manifesting my desire  I guess I should be happy - but really! 

Being sick was certainly not what I had planned for my first ever Christmas Eve in Riyadh.

This is what I had planned:  A lunch time get together on another compound with some expat-bloggers living in Saudi who I've met online.  That soiree was to be followed by an evening dinner at our compound coffee shop with fellow compound dwellers who were, for whatever reason, also spending Christmas in the magic kingdom.

And it is magic.

Though rumours abound of negative Big H messages being sent forth to the masses via loud speaker (as I don't understand the Arabic I cannot confirm this rumour.  Lots of little birdies twitter out there about it, but none I know personally and I'm not going to believe just anyone) the Saudi people I know send me texts wishing me a happy Christmas and a wonderful day.  They do that of their own free will and, though I'm guessing at their reasons, I would say their rational goes something like this: we are friends, they are wonderful people.  Now isn't that magic.

Whats the big H Kiwi?  When the kids were little there were a couple of words that were banned from their vocabulary.  One was the Big H.  Hate is a word attached to very strong, intense feelings with horribly negative tones that spring from deep seated plain old nasty...not nice-ness.  Use of the word willy nilly, as far as we were concerned, was unacceptable.  Thesaurus allowed them other words they could use to express their discontent or antipathy of a situation or person should they need to - ' intensely dislike' was a favourite phrase. 

Yep. That was the Christmas Eve plan.
I didn't get to do any of it.
At least Glenn got to enjoy it all, which is a huge difference to how he has spent the last two Christmases in Riyadh.  Working.

I would have asked him, when he got home, how things went, but I was in 'pass in, pass out', mumble 'tea please', zombie brain mode. 

Glenn rang the children when he got home from his festive activities to wish them a great day and to have a word with the grand kids.  He left the loud speaker on so I could hear (11.30pm our Christmas Eve was early morning their Christmas Day).  Aren't kids awesome at Christmas.  They were so excited.  Our granddaughter told us all about Santa eating the cookies and drinking all the milk she left out.  And the reindeer ate the carrot.  Our grandson told us about his new green undies, cos his old blue ones are too small.  Sooo cute.  As our daughter said, Christmas is much more fun with kids - until they know you buy the presents and aren't the least bit appreciative.  Then it's time they got a job.

I, unfortunately, was in no state to contribute to any conversation.  Never mind - I heard it. 

So, now it is Christmas Day in Riyadh and Glenn is currently at the function that was planned for our Christmas Day.

Oh he did work today.  Christmas Day is not a day off in Saudi although apparently a number of Saudi's were perfectly happy to take a day off because they presumed that all westerners would be absent so their own attendance at work wasn't required.  What the??

But after work he headed off to spend the evening with the tennis crew and friends enjoying a meal, a secret Santa and a few beverages (You know ginger tea, stuff like that. Yeah whateva Gae!) that, had I been there, would have taken us well into the night singing Christmas Carols. 

How did my Christmas day pan out?

Once the fever broke (last night) I've spent today with lessening, but not gone headache, return of appetite to nibble on apple slices, a bitch of a cough that does my head in and seriously hurts my chest, which is bunged up, and the pièce de résistance (I had to look that up to see how to spell it) - the runs. Grrrreaat.  How can I have the runs - I haven't eaten anything!!!

I have recovered enough to type into my blog between dozes.  Since about 10am sleeping has been difficult because the rumblings of my bowel have me heading to the bathroom at frequent intervals - a real test on those butt muscles, which I have to say, are rather slack!  (Even coughing lets a few squitters escape - I'm on to my third pair of knickers for the day.)  Awweeesuume!

I have to say, one thing I did not miss in the lead up to Christmas in Riyadh was the commercialism.  'Buy this, they'll love you'.
'No, buy this - you'll be the only one of almost every other family that has it'.
'Jingle Bells your pay away because advertising says this is what Christmas is about'.
No, I don't think I missed that at all.

I did miss a few carols.  Not the constant stream you get forced through your eardrums at shopping malls from the start of the day till the end.  That is overkill.  Nope.  Didn't miss that.  But sitting round a piano with a few friends singing a few carols would have been nice.

Glenn enjoyed this Christmas because, even though I wasn't in attendance at planned events (which he says just weren't the same without me there - awww, what a sweetie), at least this year I was in the country.

Glenn has just texted.  He is on his way home.  No doubt he will have a chinwag about the evening.  I have some good news for him too.  I can pass wind now, without any extra accompaniments. Oh the small, yet wonderful things we rejoice in.

************

It's boxing day.  I fell asleep soon after Glenn arrived home with pressies and left overs - I nibbled the roast potato, a bit of kumara and a little surprise I wasn't expecting.  Very nice.

 
I may have missed wishing all a Merry Christmas, (and I certainly hope your day was festive, fun and family and friends filled), but I figure there's plenty of time to recover so I can be ready for bringing in the New Year.

And I'm looking forward to my next Christmas, which may or may not, be in Riyadh.

Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Kiwi, from Kaeo and Family Gatherings.

Saudi's are very curious about westerners and they tend to put me into that bracket when they meet me.  But in my mind, I'm Maori, not a westerner which any native Kiwi can tell you means we have some distinct and other subtle differences in how we approach life.  One of the common activities we share with Saudi though is whanau hui - family gatherings.

While Kiri was here my Saudi friends were very keen to meet her and they went to considerable trouble each time we were invited over.  One occasion was actually a get together put on especially for her after she asked R how Saudi girls dance. R's response was to invite us to a family party at the farm of one of her husband’s brothers.

We met lots of her rellies, we swam in the pool, ate an awesome meal, had a chin wag (most of them could speak very good English), and then they turned up the Arabic music and taught us, at least attempted to teach us, Arabic dancing. It was a great evening and they are wonderful people.

"I did have a DVD of us attempting to dance that was going to go in here but..... 

can't find it."

Hubby had traveled down to their farm with us. He spent the evening doing guy things in the guy area – which was mostly watch the Football World Cup semi and talk. Not nearly as much fun as we were having.

I did ask Kiri what it felt like to travel an hour or so each way sitting next to R in all her gear, ie abaya and niqab.  Kiri wasn’t fazed. (Obviously lots of her mother’s gene pool there).

Last week I received an invite to the family home of N, that is to her parents place, to spend the evening at their usual weekly family gathering. I consider that a bit of a privilege. It was also a really nice evening.  On that occasion I met N’s father.  He was very nice and after spending a bit of time in the lounge with us, he headed off to the men’s part of the house and we never saw an adult male again for the rest of the evening.

It seems, from my observations, which could be flawed because powers of observation are not my particular skill, that all Saudi families have one day a week when everyone comes together. Well, as together as you can get in Saudi what with the no-mixing rules.

Anyway, it’s kind of like the weekly Sunday roast we used to have with our kids – something we learnt from MaD (a.k.a. Mum and Dad) and their Sunday roasts, though Mum’s roast is much more delish.... There’s nothing like mum’s crunchy-as pork roast crackling, mums tasty homemade gravy, mum’s ‘is there any more’ creamed paua and mum’s totally scrumptious hot apple pie with real cream poured over the top..... mmmmm.

Mum and Dad ....a.k.a. MaD

Where was I? Family get togethers....

N, along with her brothers, sisters and their spouses, spends Tuesday evening at her parents place. All the kids, as well as the maids to look after the kids, are brought along too. The women talk, the kids run around, everyone eventually has dinner. A few hours later, they go on their merry way.

On Thursday afternoon, N travels an hour out of town to her husband’s whanau get together.  My other Saudi friends have this same routine, though on different days, with their families and in-laws.

This regular staying in touch provides at least two days in the week where the women have something to do. It also means Saudi’s maintain very close family ties. I’m guessing this is the basis for the rumour that it is very hard for Expats to get to know Saudis or more precisely, to break into their family circle. Though, I haven’t had much trouble, soooo....not sure where that came from. Maybe the women are more open than the men.

The Husband did mention to one of his Saudi colleagues that other expats find it hard to get to know his fellow countrymen and women. He was surprised at that. As he said, we are very welcoming and hospitable which, so far, I've found to be true.

The other day I spoke to a Canadian friend and he mentioned that he and his wife knew a few Arabs, but they weren’t true Saudi’s....meaning their origins were from Syria and other such places. He asked how it was I met Saudis. I said it’s easy....Start by saying hello.....works wonders.  I've found that the Saudi’s are more than happy to talk, but they will rarely take the initiative and start a conversation with a stranger.  So, hello usually gets a response.

I have been asked many times by expat women, ‘What are Saudi ladies like at home’. I’m not really sure what they expect to hear...The women I know talk, they laugh, they cook, they get hoha at the kids, they wear normal clothes, they have dreams and goals, they have budgets to live within, lives to lead, homes to organize  husbands to manage (manage??? – Maybe I've been married to long). Some study, some work. They are very friendly, very hospitable and, to date, the ladies I know, love company and having fun.  

They are also quite interested in us western folk.  As Hubby says, we are as intriguing to them as they are to us.  It has crossed my mind that if Saudi’s want to get to know a ‘real western woman’ they are slightly short changed with me. It’s funny but I don’t consider myself ‘western’. I’m a Kiwi native. From Kaeo.

Cosmic Calm At Coffee Islands.

As it was our daughter's last night visiting us here in Riyadh, we went shopping at two of the larger malls in town.  She had some last minute presents that she wanted to get.  While we were out prayer time came along, twice. The first time we were prepared and sat in the food hall and ate. The second time we weren’t prepared.  Hence we were left milling in one of the mall courts wondering whether or not to go find the food hall so we could sit out prayer time with a coffee.

The Husband expected I knew where the food hall was.  Obviously Hubby thinks my time is spent frequenting shopping malls a lot.  He's mistaken.  I must be the only woman in Saudi unenthusiastic about shopping so this was only my second visit to Sahara and Hyatt Malls in 6 months.  It saves Hubby a bundle of money, this shopping aversion.

Anyway, unlike the malls at home, Gloria Jeans, Muffin Break and company do not have coffee islands in easy to find locations throughout Saudi malls.  The only coffee island I’ve come across is Costa Coffee, but it is little. Let me clarify this point.  The Costa Coffee ‘family section’ is little because, being Saudi, although the men can occupy the numerous comfy chairs out front of the island, we women enjoy our beverage in a tiny sectioned off area away from public view.  At prayer time this small space is choc full of ladies, their children and their husbands, who were more prepared than us and have settle into their seats early.

During prayer time, all seats in the malls are at a premium. In one other mall on another shopping day, we, Kiri and I, claimed a couple of seats and Kiri learned how close women get in Saudi while waitng out prayer time. Close. Squizz over as close as you can, whether you know the abaya covered butt trying to squizz in next to you or not.  Kiri looked at me with a ‘What the?’ look because along with the black shape came a shopping trolley and a few kids, and when a large pubescent child practically sat on her lap, she decided enough was enough so vacated her seat.  Was this possibly the ploy all along????   I don’t blame her.  Coming from a country that likes our personal space, this closeness can be a bit much.

Anyway, back to the Hyatt. What to do? Roaming a mall aimlessly with the shops open is bad enough, in my opinion, but roaming them aimlessly for half an hour with the shops shut is decidedly pointless. We would sit on the floor, but The Husband is with us and he doesn’t do floors – something to do with his flexibility or lack thereof.

Prayer time had started and, looking around, niqab clad females of all ages occupied all available seats. So Hubby sat himself down in one of the comfy chairs out front of Costa Coffee reserved for the men.

There was only one other man occupying one other chair on that island. Ridiculous! But hardly surprising.

Shopping is the major recreational activity for women in Saudi, apart from visiting family.  It is actually, I believe, a bit of a mission for single men, especially Saudi single men, to gain entry to malls.  Guards (males) are at all entry points to make sure women enjoy hassle (man) free recreation although, believe it or not, only men work in the stores which is a whole other blog.  Women most definitely outnumber men in the malls.  If you’re a man shopping in a mall in Saudi, bets are on you’re with a wife or your mother.  The upshot of this is that Costa Coffee seats reserved for men, at this particular prayer time, were empty.

No way was I standing up with all these free, comfy, seats. I sat down with Hubby, Kiri joined us. Shortly thereafter, all remaining seats reserved for men were full of women.

We sat there and chatted. They sat there and chatted.  Lone other Saudi man drank his coffee and all was well.  The world did not end.  The cosmos did not open up and wreck mayhem down upon us. Fraternizing between lone man and abundant women did not occur.  In fact, lone man was, to my knowledge, completely ignored while women took this enforced time out to show each other what they had bought.  It all felt very normal.

The minute prayer time ended, one of the staff came over and told us we had to leave – only men could sit here.  Ridiculous!  Totally disturbed the calm he did with that statement.   I mean, was the cosmos gonna work itself up into a lightening bolt just because women, the majority population in malls, are sitting out front of the coffee island.  Honestly, sometimes I just don’t get it!

Time Drags in Saudi

Time drags in Saudi as an unemployed expat woman if you do not make yourself get out and about.
Or enroll in some form of online study.
Or read.
Or do something.

Saudi Arabia is renowned for its boredom.  There is nothing to do here.  Nothing meaning no movies, no pubs and clubs, no sport (if you're a girl) - not much fun at all.  Unless you know where to look, and new arrivals rarely have that info on hand.  If you don't work in Saudi doing nothing can really get depressing.

To give myself something to do I'm learning Arabic....thought I might as well while I was here.  I figured it would come in handy to know a few sentences plus it would wile away the time which numerous women can tell you, including Saudi ladies, starts to drag after a while.

I find it interesting that, each time I have met new Saudi's, male and female, they say something along the lines of "Do you like it here?  It's boring isn't it?"  I haven't yet figured out an appropriate answer.

Yes, it's very boring - seems rude and isn't really hitting the nail on the head.  It's slow but if you look hard enough there is 'stuff' to do.  It's not necessarily meaningful, but it is something.

It's OK - seems to demean the place which, if you get into its history and culture, is actually an interesting study.  And 'It's OK' definitely doesn't do the people justice.  The people, so far, are really lovely.

No, it's an awesome place.  I'm really enjoying it - will not be believed.  People here are not stupid.  Plus they will just say 'Wait 6 months, you'll change your mind'.

I've been here six months.....time is starting to drag.  I know it is because I'm considering getting more regular employment.  For someone who thinks work is an interruption to real life that is really saying something.  Tutoring English to ladies is fun, but not really regular because they go on holiday (they're on holiday now), they have parties to prepare for so can't make it each day, they get sick, I get sick...let's just say regularity fluctuates.

A friend has given me the number of an international school that wants native English speakers to teach English to primary aged children once the summer is over.

My dilemma (not huge on a global scale I know) is do I want this job?

Friend -The hours are good Gae, from 7 am to around midday - 1pm. 
Me - 7 am.....crikeys, been a while since I had to wake up at that hour, much less be at work by then.
Friend - It's five days a week, Gae, so you'll have something to do every day.
Me - 5 days a week.....crikeys that's full time.  I was born with full time work allergy.
Friend - And you'll be teaching children.  It's easier than teaching adults, but they might drive you crazy.
Me - Do I really want to teach kids 5 days a week?  Ummmm, No. 

Another friend told us the other day that one of the Embassy's has a vacancy for a PA.  Hubster declined that role for me.  Why?  That requires me being organised.  Me and organised needs a 'dis' attached.  I don't think he means 'Wifey organised dis'.  More 'Wifey disorganised' is where he was heading.

When I first moved here I didn't' actually want to do anything, which is exactly what I'm doing, and it's starting to get on my nerves.  What do they say, Be careful what you wish for or you just might get it.  Obviously my goal of total chill 'axing while in Saudi has run its course.  Time to get jiggy with something else - the question is What?

Of course the middle of summer, with Ramadan just around the corner, is not a good time to start feeling like doing something. (Read my post on Summer Heat for more that).  Most people leave town.  Including the locals.  The majority of my Saudi friends are heading to cooler regions.  Abha is the locally preferred destination.  The heat can get to you here after a while and we aren't in the top temps yet.  The wind blowing the other day felt like standing in a giant hair dryer complete with flying dust.  Except, once the wind died down the heat stuck around and it's a very enveloping heat.

With most of the expats gone and coffee mornings put off till after the summer, time is dragging.  It's making me think about heading home too.

********

The month of Ramadan starts mid August.  I'm going home mid August.  I have to.  Our eldest daughter gets married early September and I know she's going to need a bit of help with the final details - that's why I have to go early.  Hubster might not have bought that rational, but he has bought me a ticket.  So count down is on.  Yay.

Kilas visit

Kiri, our daughter, is here in Riyadh for 2 and a bit weeks.  She has started a blog to let people know what she has been up to.  You can find it here at http://kilassaudiadventure.blogspot.com/

It is nice to have her company and I think she is having a good time.  Not in an outrageous night club fashion, because there are no nightclubs here.  But we try are introducing her to Saudi life a bit at a time. 

She has learnt, in her first 3 or 4 days, how to put on the shayla (head scarf) and is perfectly happy donning the abaya when we go out.  I believe she's adjusting to the heat -I'm always checking she's drinking enough water.  According to the nurses dehydration creeps up on you and knocks you for six - and she spent a whole day in bed getting over most of her jet lag soon after arriving.

On her list of things to do is visiting the numerous shopping malls that abound in Riyad, visiting the Saudi friends I've made who are keen to meet her, and doing anything else that comes along.

She is being put to good use in my English lessons.  My student is 22 years old and was really looking forward to someone around her age coming to talk English with her.  So I get Killa to ask questions, read dictation and other stuff that lets the two of them chat away. 

I'm not sure that Kiri really understands how fortunate she is to be invited into Saudi homes.  I've met so many expats who have been here much longer than me and have never had that privilege.

Anyway, if you'd like to read her thoughts on her trip visit Kilas Saudi Adventure.

Summer heat

This is my first experience of Saudi summer heat - and it's hot.  By 10am its 40 degrees Celsius.  Midday is 50 C+.  Walk much during the day right now has been curbed somewhat.  Evenings is a balmy 35 Celsius - perfect for sitting by the pool - which is still tepid from the heat of the day.  We call it 'moonbathing'.

On my short stroll from our apartment to the taxi, which is about 300 meters, I have my black get up on, ie abaya.  I used to whinge, just a little, about the heat, as in "oh crap it's so hot in this get up" but then one of the garden maintenance guys walked past and I had a little word to myself for being such a selfish wimp. 

He has not just walked from air conditioned comfort.  He will not be spending a maximum of 2 minutes in the heat, which is how long it takes me to walk to the air conditioned taxi.  No, he has to work long hours in this heat 6 days a week along with the rest of his colleagues.  When I choose to walk a little further than the taxi, I make sure I remind myself of these facts.  Certainly helps me feel the heat less.

Our maintenance guys are transported in a windowless truck (I saw them being picked up one day.  If you think small furniture truck, that's it.) - definitely no air conditioning.   I have no idea where these guys live.  In fact, I'm not even sure I want to know having heard stories of shanty's and over crowded rooms.  I guess if I was really concerned I would go find out....now I'm making myself feel guilty.  I asked Noor what his accommodation is.  He and some of his fellow taxi drivers live at his Uncle's house - all 13 of them with 4-5 men per bedroom.

Our garden maintenance men are mostly from Bangladesh and they don't speak much English.  The culture here pretty much tells them don't talk to anyone especially the women, so it's interesting to see their reaction when I say hello or good morning - they get a bit of a shock and aren't sure what to do or where to look.  Some of the long termers, those who've been here since I arrived, say hello back and even look at me and smile.  But that is it.  Unless they have something to repair there is no real need to communicate and then the language barrier really kicks in.

I was putting together a kit-set chest of drawers one day and all I needed was a drill to put a few holes through.  Try telling that to someone who can't speak English.  We rang the head of maintenance and a worker arrived.

'I just want 3 holes.  One here, here and here'.
He took one look at what was going on and started picking up all sorts of bits and pieces to help out
'No, No...I don't want you to put the whole thing together.  I can put it together. NO. Stop'.
(looking confused and still wanting to help)
I hold up 3 fingers - '3'.  I point at the drill, then to my piece of board.  'Here, here and here'
( he picks up some other bits and pieces to get on with doin the whole job)

I actually don't think these guys are used to women over here being independent enough to build their own kit-set drawers.  Rumor has it that even the males in this area lack get up and go.  I get the impression most people higher up the food chain in this country call the head of maintenance, say send someone to sweep the dirt off my doorstep and then sit back in their sofa while they watch the job being done.

No. Laa (try arabic). Stop. Khalas (More arabic. I'm presuming a Bangladeshi man speaks Arabic.  Hmm?)
The Husband, who's in the bedroom talking on the phone, comes out because of the commotion.
What's goin on
I'm trying to tell this guy I only want 3 holes.

The Husband goes through the routine. 3 fingers. Pointing to 3 spots.  Taking the bits and pieces off him.  Nothng is working.  Frazzlement is starting to rise. 
Glenn, just take the bloody drill off him and drill the holes yourself.
Glenn does just that. Thank the universe for small mercies!
Khalas.  Thank you. You can go now.

My dresser

The heat inside the apartment has settled (yay) I can't say the same for the Saudi summer heat outside.

I'm sick.

 

I'm sick. I've beensick for a week now.

I picked up an earache in Salalah and it's turned into a fully fledged flu. I now have a sore ear, sore teeth (what the??), aching joints, dry and peeling lips, a cough, bunged up lungs, alternately blocked and runny nose, a throat just on the turn, a temperature and I'm feeling very, very tired. and lethargic.  

Imagine having flu when outdoors the temperature is 40 degrees Celsius at 10am.  By lunch time it's over 50C. 

I don't like being sick in a foreign country.  I'd much rather be sick at home. 

I haven't got a doctor here, not that that means anything, I don't usually go to doctors anyway, preferring to try natural therapies and homeopathy - none of which are here.  So I really am not enjoying being sick right now.

I spoke to the ladies about how to get a doctor.  Apparently there is no friendly GP service down the road .  The advice I received was go sign up at a hospital when you're not sick so your name is on the file.  Otherwise, you could be waiting an awful long time to be seen if you rock up sick and unregistered.  I'll keep taking the garlic and large doses of Vitamin C for now.

My thoughts are all over the place today - I'm blaming it on sickness.

****************

I knew before I came here that there wasn't the freedom I was used to.  I also knew there wasn't the entertainment I was used to.  But I was assured that, regardless, I would be kept so busy I just wouldn't know how to fit everything in.

Hmmmmm.  Ok, some days can be like that.  Other days..... are monotonous to the point of madness.  Thank goodness for internet, which in itself can be maddening.

I could get into salsa dancing classes, or belly dancing classes or mah jong, or pottery painting or indoor bowls or art classes or book clubs.....lots of ladies join those groups on various compounds and keep busy every day going from one thing to the other. Those things just aren't me. 

I could make myself go, just to keep myself busy, but the whole thing feels like a false life, false busyness....so I'll just lie around at home until something a bit more meaningful comes along. Well, at least while I'm feeling off.  I'm actually hoping to meet someone who's into abaya burning womens lib activity....that should make life exciting.

*****************

My driver, Noor, who is actually just a taxi driver, but we use him more often than anyone else, so I call him my driver, because people here just seem to presume that, being an expat woman, I will have a driver....Noor said to me the other day, You are becoming like a Saudi lady mame....Lazy.

Bloody cheek!..  I could have been offended but unfortunately, he was right.

Noor comes from Pakistan.  He showed us photo's of his village one day....the only men in the photos were old men as well as women and children.  He said most of the working age males are overseas working and sending money back.  He says about 600 of his fellow villagers live in Saudi. 

Anyone who enters Saudi has to be sponsored.  Glenns firm sponsored him.  The sponsor basically owns you when you enter the country.  Most workers have to hand over their passports and only leave when the sponsor agrees, even though leave is written in to their contracts.  (Glenn still has hold of his passport, and mine).  For Noor, and most taxi drivers, that means they generally go home every two years to see their families or wives and children.  It also means they walk on egg shells between those visits so they don't upset anyone, in case someone reports them to their sponsor, who decides to withhold their passports.

Noor is very tired right now....he's working very long days.  I asked him, 'What would your mother give me for my flu Noor?"  Although I'm a bit off color I'm still teaching English so I still see Noor most days.  I only have a few more lessons and want to get them done so I can take a break.  Noor is going to get me some real honey.  I'll let you know if it works.

He's looking forward to his trip home this year.  He gets married.  We're invited.

****************

It would be very easy for me to get sucked into the Saudi daily schedule - sleep to late morning (or early afternoon) and have my day run totally late from then on, with dinner around 10pm.  This schedule was set due to the heat.  I will admit that the evenings are much more pleasant than the middle of the day. 
It is harder for Glenn to make that schedule because the office runs on western hours, 9am-6pm.  He needs his beauty sleep.

****************

Just lately I only wake up when Glenn gives me a see you later kiss on his way out.  We don't have kids to get off to school, which also tend to follow western hours, so there is no real reason for me to have to get up in the morning.

*************

Pharmacies here can dish out all sorts of drugs without me needing a presscription.  Is that good?

I got given ear drops which, being anti-medicine and pro-alternatives, I only took for a few days until we got home and I got my hands on the garlic in my cupboard.  Glenn was less than impressed this arvo when he found I wasn't still on the anti-bots.  I don't know why he was so upset....

************

Recently I visited a ladies health center which has a gym and aerobic classes, spinning etc.  It looks great.  YJ would love me to join with her.  If we are staying another year, I probably will.  So far, I have only signed up for the pilates, which is twice a week at 10am.  I'm glad for the other two ladies on the compound who are also going,  They have dragged me out to the last couple of sessions.  Being sick I don't really want to go, but am forcing myself. 

I'm sure it's for my own good.

***************
Our compound is small so we don't have the events organiser that other places do.  We have to organise our own fun, which tends to include a lot of coffee and cake...not good for the thighs.  We have another lunch tomorrow.  Shall I go?  Will see how I feel.

*************

I've been invited to join an organising committee for something....but nah....that sounds like having to be involved.

One friend has been encouraging me to volunteer at the schools.  You get paid for volunteering, which actually totally negates the concept of volunteering if you ask me, but hei aha.  Problem is I have to up to catch the bus by 7am....forget it.  Besides, I don't have any kids at school....

********************

Since being unwell I have found it impossible to even drag myself up to the local supermarket to buy milk and bread.   It's too hot, it's too far (not), I'm too tired, I won't make it back before I pass out....etc, etc.

The guys at Glenns work wonder if the heat is getting to me or if I'm depressed.  Or both.  Apparently that happens to a lot of women here.  Or am I just down because I'm sick??  Whatever, this last week I've simply lost my mojo...I need a dream, a goal, something to get me excited and motivated, that's what Glenn says.  He found his new dream the other day - a Harley.  I'm guessing that was the reason for his little speech of encouragment.  Men are motivated by such simple things.  I think I'll feel a lot better once I can breathe properly, that would be nice...

******************

Whatever I do here I know it's going to involve lots of other women.  Everything is women only this, women only that....God for some mixed company when we're out and about.  I think, actually, that I have a lot more testosterone in my body than other females and I am missing the men.

And I want to drive the bloody car myself.

After reading this through to check for spelling mistakes I've come to the conclusion I need to cultivate more happy thoughts.

How about this.....
I detest being sick.  I look forward to being healthy and well.

Riyadh Bathroom Post

This is a Riyadh bathroom post.
Let's jump right in.

Toilets.

Quite necessary.  Sometimes necessary in a hurry. 

Why write a blog about them? 

Because today, yet again, in a very modern mall in Riyadh, the only available option for relief for this expat woman was the hole in the floor squat model (the others were occupied) toilet.  And yet again getting to it was a tip toe through a wet puddle.

EEwwww I hear you say.  Ewwwww is what I'm thinkin at the time (or more precisely 'I hope this is just water'), but I tread carefully on because I gotta go.  Yes I have shoes on, but the thought of it not only being water is still unpleasant.

Anyway, after reflecting on my day, I decided to write a bog blog.

What does that say about my day?
Everything!  But that's another story.

If there is one thing I have learnt about being an expat living in Saudi Arabia it's don't leave home without the toilet paper - or a good substitute.  In my hand bag are stacks of tissues.  Leaving home without them is asking for bathroom break trouble.  You'd think this would only apply to extended trips to the Saudi desert or desert islands.  Think again.

SAUDI ARABIA DESERT ISLAND DUNNY EXPERIENCE

When out in wide open spaces we were taught by our loving parents, who liked to take us on long road trips where the side of the road was often closer than a gas station loo for a child in a desparate situation and leg crossing just wasn't gonna be helpful anymore, that squatting is a method adopted to get the job done, preferably behind a sufficiently thick bush (or an angled car door) for privacy.  If you're lucky a soft, wide leafed plant is nearby for followup requirements (or mum bought toilet paper).  That's fine if you live in the wonderful thick greenery of New Zealand.

On a desert island on the Saudi Arabian Red Sea try finding a thick green shrub. 

Bush, where's a  bush.  I don't see a bush.  Oh yes I do.  Crap, I can see right through that piece of thorny scrub.  And even if I squat it's shorter than me......I gotta go, Man I seriously gotta go.....I think I'll just walk a long way away from my company and hope they're decent enough not to look. 

(Of course, I never counted on having a husband with a camera - what he intends to do with that photo I don't know).

THE CITY DUNNY EXPERIENCE
Toilets in Riyadh aren't only the squat over a hole variety (which I don't have a problem with, really).  There's also the sit and.....well, you know, type as well.   

The quality of the toilet, as in all countries, is dependent on the quality of the establishment housing said facility and some said facilities are sorely lacking in quality.  But there are two things that can be found (or not found) in numerous toilets in Riyadh city regardless of the style of commode offered or the quality of the establishment.

First, the floor is often wet.  Just to get to the loo I've got to hold my darned abaya off the ground so I don't come out damp.  Fortunately most toilets have hooks on the back of the door so I can, if I want, hang the abaya up prior to getting down to business.  But try robing and disrobing in a pool of water and not have some part of the blessed garment fall in the drink!  If in a bit of a rush then the abaya gets scrunched into my hands.  They're so long it is possible to misjudge hoisting the whole thing up out of the way.  All the while going through my mind  is 'I hope this is just water.'

And second, in many toilets the loo paper is totally missing. 

Where's the toilet paper?  Where the hell is the toilet paper?  There must be a roll somewhere - god dammit - nothing!  

OK, so what to do.   A quick shake will do for number 1.  But what about number 2's. 

OK, where's my bag, I'm sure there's a tissue in it somewhere - please universe, please.

I realised, eventually, cos I'm a bit of a slow learner, that the lack of loo paper in Riyadh toilets is not just because they ran out.  Oh no, they never intended to have paper at all because there isn't even a toilet roll holder hanging off the wall.  Enter  - The Wash Hose.

THE APARTMENT DUNNY EXPERIENCE

Our toilet (in our apartment) has a wash hose beside it (See picture).  Coming from NZ we never grew up with wash hoses and bidets.  The only time I used  a bidet was in the delivery unit, right after having each one of my beautiful children.  Once home, it was back to the toilet paper.

Anyway, I figured, seeing as the hose is here, I'll try it.  I knew two things about this hose.  It had a bit of pressure behind it  (when I first arrived I asked Glenn whats this for - squeezed the nozzle and water shot out and practically hit the roof) and the water was cold. But, I wasn't deterred....

'Right, which way does this go? This isn't as easy as I thought. Why do they have these instead of bidets anyway? Hell, am I supposed to stand up!  No that can't be right. 

OK. Think I've got it. Hold my breathe. Squeeze the trigger.....

Bloody cold water everywhere. And I've got a wet arse.  Now I need a towel to dry myself.

Every bathroom facility in Riyadh, that I have had the necessity to use, has a wash hose.  Apparently washing oneself after excreting bodily waste is the done thing here.  Glenn told me this is why they say only give, eat and accept food with the right hand.  The left has probably been washing ...uummm.....bits.  This practice is also why the toilet floors in public conveniences are often wet and why there is no need for toilet paper - something I disagree with because what do you dry yourself with when you're done washing?  Another quick shake??

Suffice to say, since moving to Saudi Arabia I have learnt a few things about using conveniences while out.  Always check for loo paper before entering toilet cubicle.  If none, test the wash hose into the toilet before it's required to ascertain correct pressure control - it is possible to control the water burst and therefore prevent excess bathroom flooding and, more importantly, very wet butt  which is very hard to dry without material for that purpose.  Of course an all covering abaya can come in handy for such occurrences (Has that happened to me? Nooooo!) - and warmth (if it's cold well, at least I'm mentally prepared). 

But most of all, before leaving home make sure there are tissues in my bag to prevent possible unthinkable disaster in a Riyadh bathroom.

Social Life in Saudi Arabia.

Soon after arriving many expats throw themselves, or are sucked, into the vibrant expat social life in Saudi Arabia.  It's what keeps us going until it's time for that final exit.

One expat told me this - "If you don't leave after 1 year, you'll probably stay for 3, if you don't leave after 3 years, you'll probably stay for 5 and if you're still here after 5 years you'll probably stay forever".

Most expats stay in Saudi from 1 - 3 years - that's the conclusion I've come to after rigorous investigation into expat activity  (I discussed with The Husband how long we might be staying). 

Working in Riyadh is considered, by most expats I've met, as a short term stint.  Making money was the draw card - there is supposed to be more of it here. (Really, if it wasn't for the 'tax free' aspect I don't think there would actually be a lot of difference in take home pay.)

Many expats I've spoken to say after one year, or less, the work environment makes you analyse whether the money is really worth staying for.  A lot come to the conclusion it isn't.  Add to this the family you miss back home and the freedom you most definitely miss, flying home wins hands down over staying in Saudi for the money - in many cases - not all.   (An Aussie nurse put this more graphically.  She said when you arrive you have two buckets.  The one with money is held high.  You know you've been here too long when the bucket of shit is higher than the bucket of money.)

Once the glow of 'a new and exciting venture' has lost its luster and the reality of working in Riyadh sets in expats who don't have their nose constantly to the grindstone tend to find solace and kinship in other expats.  After all, who else but another expat can sympathize with what we're going through?

The Husband didn't make that many friends before my arrival in Riyadh because he was busy working. I discovered he is no different to other expat men on our compound in that regard.  Some of us married gals got together one day soon after my arrival, quite accidentally, over coffee, and found out our husbands were exactly the same when it came to socializing with the neighbors - they didn't!

There we were, eight of us, only just met and bonding over 'living in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia' - Why do we have to wear this abaya? Why can't we drive? Why do we have to rely on men so much for everything?  Why are we stuck at home?  What can we do here?  What else aren't we allowed to do here?  When are you leaving Saudi, going home for a visit.  Have you seen any other countries?  On and on....and then we started on our husbands - as you do.

What does yours do?  Where is his office?  How long has he been here?  What does he think of it?  How long is his work contract?  Will he stay longer?  What does he look like? - Is he the tall one - the American. (No.  And that guy is not American, he's Australian.) Is he the one with the no hair?  (yes, that's him). 

Long story short, we decided it was time our husbands met a.k.a had a social life.

What to do Pounamu? A bar-b-q! 

For the first time in his 19 months of living here, The Husband actually met other men from the compound, and their wives and children, in a social setting. ( By met I mean he had a half way decent conversation with.  He classes met as sayng hello in passing.  No, that is just saying hello.  To meet someoe you actually converse, swap info, get to know each other a little.) 

They, the husbands, actually enjoyed themselves - and so did we.  And now they, the husbands, tend to say more than 'hello in passing' when they pass.  We, the wives, had swapped phone numbers at that first coffee.  Now we have our own e-mail network.  I don't believe our men are that far advanced yet.

That's OK we don't mind if the men leave planning their Saudi Arabian social lives to us - we've got a lot of great ideas on the agenda.

Head Full of Nonsense.

Glenn often tells me I've got a head full of nonsense.  Here's a few things that crossed my mind June 2nd 2010, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

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Crap! I've got Pilates today.

(I recently signed up for Pilates. Only been once. I still hurt.)

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One would presume with the free amenities available in Saudi compounds that target fitness, I will leave here slim, trim and looking fabulous. It's depressing seeing exactly the opposite happening.

(Spied my scales in the bathroom after pilates - Get out of here!)

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I wonder why more expats living in Saudi Arabia don't learn arabic?
My learning seems to be advancing at a tortoise pace - slow but sure, tho mostly slow.

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Are there any poisonous animals in this country??
(No idea why this popped into my head)

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Some days I'd really love to go to work.

Thank G*D, that thought doesn't stick around for long.

Though I believe Glenn would prefer that it stuck around and sunk in.

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If I was at all imaginative I'd write blogs about the people in our compound but give them all pseudonyms (is that the right word), like Alvah the Evil Arachnid.  And instead of being a compound we'd be an undiscoverd planet or a populated atom on the faceplate of a guitar.....

 

(Was strumming a few notes on my guitar when the bug man came in to spray the drains.  I'd call him Flat Face Downcast Eyes....freaky kind of guy)

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When's the next Salah?  I need to go shopping.  I can stretch out trawling the aisles for two hours.  Is that sad or what??

(Looked in my cupboards. No food).

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Why did the computer shop load my laptop with programs I'll never use?? They just take up space that I'd rather fill with music I've downloaded illegally.

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Watties tomato sauce, chocolate macaroons, edmonds cook book,  hangi, roast pork, new zealand butter, dandelion coffee, background music in supermarkets, rugby on TV, mums apple pie, real watercress (the creek grown variety)

(Various thoughts of home while shopping and missing Kiwi food and known brands.)

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Nino works 15 hour days,  Saed works 16 hour days, Iftika works 16 hour days.  They all get paid crap money.  They are often called names and spoken to like they're shit.  When they get beaten up, stolen from or ripped off they wind up in jail because they aren't one of the natives and 'probably deserved what happened anyway' (according to the natives).  Yet this place, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, is better than their home.

(Saw the maintainence guys - started me thinking about how fortunate I am).

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It's Wednesday.  Wednesday night is Friday night.   Thursday and Friday are the weekend.  Friday night is actually Sunday night.  Saturday is the first day of the work week.  Sunday is the first day of the week.

(Still haven't quite aligned my thinking to Wednesday as the end of the work week in Saudi.  Regardless, I wonder what we're doin' this weekend.)

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The dark side of the desert - Human rights MIA, religious life from birth - does that make it a choice, blatant racism, excessive money for the few, hypocrisy from the top, sexual frustration for the masses, inflated ego's, knowledgeable ?? (and the odd fanatical) scholars, male domination, rehabilitated but angry religious 'enforcers', hard work ethic largely MIA, handout attitude rife, tender constitutions, patriarchal selfishness rampant, utilitarianism - yeah right!

Sure as hell wouldn't be like this if women were in charge.
(Was reading other blogs - depressing!)

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There was a time when sitting on my butt, wasting away the day seemed like heaven.  Now I've got it, I've changed my mind....

Think I'll go play squash.

That'll get me off my arse.  The housework just ain't doin' it for me.

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When her mother has vacated the chair, my three year old granddaughter moves in for a conspiratorial whisper on Skype  "I'm sorry Nana, mummy's been f****n me around".   Just gotta smile every time I think of it :)

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I may have to concur with Glenn.  I just may have a head full of nonsense.

Let's Recap: Two Weeks In Saudi Arabia

Here's a Recap of My First Two Weeks in Saudi Arabia.
Glenn gave me a 2010 Calendar Diary that I've been using since my departure from NZ to keep a few thoughts on living in Saudi Arabia. I've been reading thru my first impressions and the things I did. Here are entries from my first 2 weeks.

December 31 2009
Flew from Auckland to Melbourne to Dubai. On the way to Melbourne I realised I left my purse at the Auckland Airport. Duh! Got a message thru to home to pick it up. Just as well I didn't need any money because I had nothing - no card, no cash. Had to borrow a mobile off an air hostess to phone home.

So tired I slept thru the New Year while in flight.

Jan 1 2010
Glenn met me in Dubai. He didn't want me to fly to Saudi on my own because customs in Riyadh can be daunting for the uninitiated. Spent the day in Dubai. Did the 'Big Bus' tour. Had a complimentary room at the Meridian Hotel - very nice.

Flew to Riyadh. My first time having to wear the abaya - it's not so bad I guess. Asked a young Saudi lady at the airport how to put on the shayla (aka head scarf). She introduced us to her family - Mum, Dad and younger sister.  Very nice people. Very good English. They showed me how to wrap the shayla - I am going to have to practice.

Our compound is looking quite nice. Very tired. In bed by 9.30pm.

Jan 2 2010

Woke at 3am - prayer time. We have a mosque just over the back.

I heard prayer time last night after I arrived. I was sure it was a fog horn being blasted over the loud speakers. Glenn assured me there were words. I also thought the call was a recording, but then the guy calling coughed....

I unpacked today. Re-organised Glenn's wardrobe to fit my clothes. Wondering when it will sink in I'm here to stay! Have to get a laptop, internet connection and a mobile or I ain't gonna survive. Almost had withdrawal shakes handing my NZ mobile to my sister before departure.  (We have a business in NZ that she will be overseeing - hence the need to hand over the business mobile).

Jan 4 2010
Tried out the gym today - it's OK. I don't really feel like socialising yet, but I need to go shopping, Glenn has no vegetables in the house - typical bachelor diet - baked beans and tuna. Yuk! Wonder if they have health shops here in Riyadh?

Glenn came home with two books that were given to him today. Thicker than Oil: America's Uneasy Partnership with Saudi Arabia and a book about Islam.  The islamic book has been put on the shelf.  Maybe I'll get to it one day.

Jan 5 2010
Went shopping on my own at the local market. Somewhat freaky experience. Jazeera market is very busy and lots of things are....foreign (funny that). Ladies in black everywhere. Men in regular clothes or thobes. Kids underfoot. The produce area was bedlam. At one point I had to stop and take some deep breaths. But now we have real food in the house.

Can't keep my shayla on my head - I wonder how the Saudi ladies do? There were lots of ladies, Filipino and other expats I presume, who didn't wear shayla.  Glenn says it not really necessary for western women, unless you're asked to.

Jan 6 2010

Had dinner at Al Khazarma Hotel tonight. Met Eric the GM. He paid for dinner - must've liked me :). Walked through Faisalia Mall. It's just like any other flash mall, except all the ladies are in black. Have to stop staring at the women with the niqab. Not sure if I should be smiling at them or not. I hope they are smiling back.

Glenn bought me a guitar tonight. I think he realises that in order to find my feet I need something to do.  Plus he is trying to spoil me so I don't decide to go home. Wonder how long one can take advantage of that :)

Jan 7 2010

Weekends in Saudi Arabia are Thursday and Friday. We walked into Glenns office so I could see where he worked (it's 15 minute walk) and to Skype the kids. The sooner we get internet connected at home the better. Now that I'm not sleeping most of the day (can't believe how tired the body is after this move) I'd like internet on tap, not once a week!

Walked around Tahalea tonight. Found 2 coffee shops that do not cater to women. Not good! No women are enjoying the outdoor cafe experience - only men. Women are shafted indoors, out of sight, to eat and have coffee. Wonder what would happen if I just go sit at a sidewalk cafe? Wonder what they would do?

Jan 8 2010

Glenn took me to Akaria Mall. It's an older mall, I think the oldest in Riyadh. I like it. It's more homely than the big malls and there aren't many expats - they mostly go to the big malls. And it's local - just up the road.

There's a very nice shop that sells Italian crystal and it's so cheap.  I bought a fruit bowl. Before I leave here our kitchen cabinet may be graced with a whole set of crystal ware.

Jan 9 2010

Off to hospital for a physical today. Nice guy that took me from Innovations. They are a company that do all sorts of stuff like organise visa's, Iqama's (residency cards) etc. Apparently Saudi red tape is not easy to deal with so Glenn just hires the people from Innovations to do all that because they have connections.  Riyadh is all about who you know, apparently.

My physical is so I can get my Iqama. I'm so glad Sahid took me because the hospital is big and busy and I can't speak Arabic.  He did all the talking, I just followed him around.

They have sqaut toilets in the hospital...couldn't believe it.  What to do Pounamu?  Should I back in or not?  Decided to back in.  And there were three ladies working in the toilets.  One was folding towels, one went in to clean the cubicle and one was asleep in a corner. I guess if this was my employment from morning to night I would try to make it go faster by catching a kip as often as possible too.

Jan 10 2010

Sunbathed today. Our pool is wonderful. I realised that no-one else sunbathes now cos it's the middle of winter in Saudi Arabia. Hard case - me in a bikini because the weather is just like NZ summer and everyone else in winter woolies.

Jan 11 2010

Walked by myself to Glenns office today. There are no pedestrian crossings and I don't think there are many road rules either so negotiating crossing the road was nerve wracking the first few times. Its especially dangerous at night dressed all in black! We've been walking most nights so I'm getting used to the traffic and I gotta say, it's a lot easier crossing the road in daylight :)

Met the staff at his office. Nice people. Will hopefully meet a couple of wives. I'm needing something else to do and someone else to do it with.  After two weeks of living in Saudi Arabia I'm starting to feel like more than my own company during the day.

Ka Kite,
Kiwi