Clicky Expat Groups

"Please Do Not Forward 

The Information In This Email"

We were talking one night about why Saudi expats tend to operate in clicky, almost closed, groups.
It's a question of survival, we decided.
Not the 'poverty line' type of survival.
It's more the 'quality of life' situation.

You see, it is possible to live a fairly normal life in Riyadh if you operate under the radar.  If expats don't draw unnecessary attention to themselves or their activities, official types are often prepared to turn a blind eye to our get together's.  As one official type told me, 'We know you Westerners are different'.

Unfortunately, if you invite the wrong expat along, the kind who thinks disregard for the rules should be thrown in the face of locals and official types alike, well, they just stuff everything up for everybody else.

Officialdom will act if they have to.
The trick is to not make them have to.
Hence the caution exercised when inviting people to join expats in their exploits.

It takes a bit of work to create a 'normal' social life in Saudi.  Expats who have been here for the longer term tend to be hoha (Maori word for annoyed) with selfish fly-by-nighters who don't give a toss about how their inability to Keep Mum affects everybody else.  (I categorize Long Term expats are those who've been here at least 15 - 20 years, and there are quite a few.  Expats married to Saudi's do not fall into the Long Term expat category.  They are in the 'Married to a Saudi' group).

Not all Long Termer's have survived here because they have Saudi friends in high places that can get them, or their mates, out of trouble if needed.  (Granted some do).  No, the secret to their survival has been, and continues to be, being smart about living around the rules and culture in KSA.  And they tend to be careful who they invite into their carefully cultivated circle.

When a short term Whipper Snapper starts attracting attention to him/herself, or the group, they aren't looked on kindly by their fellow expats.  Said Whipper-Snapper may also wonder why invitations to functions and other activities suddenly start to dry up if they don't alter their behavior.

When I first arrived in Riyadh, I thought being part of a clicky expat group was a bit, well, snotty.  I've changed my view, just a bit.  It's nice being part of a social group where life almost feels normal, and if that means that Hubster and I have to keep the details sketchy for a couple of things we are involved in, then so be it.  We are here for a while longer yet (insha'allah), and want to protect our activities from thoughtless types who risk spoiling what we, and our fellow Saudi Expat Socializers, have going.

As an aside, mixed expat groups, the ones I know anyway, tend to be particularly cautious of inviting along Arab men largely because Arab men like to jump on board expat activities and then behave like twats.  As one male friend said, 'It seems to be an Arab bloke thing to be completely sleazy around as many females as possible, but the worst thing is presuming all men want to talk dirty, sexual gutter speak about women'.  He reckons the way a lot of Arab men talk about women is disgusting!  Hubster concurs.

One evening Hubster was invited to a neighbors apartment to watch a game of rugby, and a young Arab man turned up as well.  Hubster had to cut the evening short, with a few carefully selected words, and come home because all the young Arab man wanted to do was talk graphically dirty about his latest female conquest.  It just didn't get through his thick skull that the audience in the lounge was not interested!  (Heads up Arab blokes - if you're having trouble integrating with some of the expat groups out there it's probably 'cause you're a twat!)

Although I sometimes feel a little bit selfish not sharing my clicky expat activities....I get over it fairly quickly.  It doesn't pay to forget where I am.  Life in Riyadh is not (yet) normal.  Flouting the religious rules can land you in deep kaka. The Kingdoms political situation is not stable and has the potential to blow up at any time should conservatives become unhappy with how things are changing.   And Saudi sensibilities are extremely sensitive.  Being smart about which activities I advertise, publicly or privately, is always the best plan and I admit for one such activity it took a call from a fellow Kiwi telling me to pull my head in (in a nice way) to remind me of that.




Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Singing In Riyadh's Choir.

People tend to make a song and dance about living in Saudi Arabia but, really, it's not that bad once you get the hang of it.  Finding things to do in Riyadh isn't difficult either if you keep your ear to the ground or ask around.   In fact, you could quite easily collect hobbies while living here.

The thing with living in Saudi is that, because there is so little to do, once you find something to do, even though you may not normally do it back home, you're more likely to be talked into doing it here because the other option, doing nothing, will make you go La La eventually.  I've tried my hand at a couple of things since arriving in Riyadh, just because.

Case in point, one day, late last year, a lady I met at a coffee morning (great places to get info, coffee mornings) told me she sang in a choir.  She said this very nice group of people get together regularly to practice various musical pieces and, every so often, they also put on a performance or two for friends, family and complete strangers who get talked into buying tickets.

That day, I was one of those complete strangers.  So impressed was I with the fact there was a choir in Riyadh that, after attending the show which, that year, was based on movie soundtracks, I decided to join. Contact details were obtained, emails sent and next thing you know, I'm at choir practice.  That my voice was a little rusty didn't matter.  Once upon a time I used to sing in the church choir in Kaeo.  Granted, my Aunty ran the choir and, in all probability, let me in because she knew my mother can sing.  It's unfortunate the gift wasn't passed on in the genes but God loves a trier, right?  And so does the Riyadh Choral Society.

On arrival I was asked if I was a soprano, alto or something I'd never heard of.

Ummmmm..... I don't know.
So do you sing high or low?
Ummmmm....

Talk about having a voice identity crisis!
Aunty never asked me any of these questions back in Kaeo.

Do you like to sing the tune or harmonise?
Oh, I can't harmonise to save myself.
You're on this side with the tune singers then.

It occurred to me, while standing amongst the tune singers, that I actually can't sing!  Or, at least, the lack of practice over the years had seriously choked up the vocal chords.  I wasn't daunted though.  Fortunately, some years back, we fostered a group of siblings and, one of them, we enrolled in The Australian Girls Choir.  The head of the choir told us that one way you can learn how to sing is to sit amongst singers and simply tune in your ears while mouthing the words.  I fell back on that advise when, every now and then, my voice went 'Arrrgh'  not  'Tweet'.

Unfortunately, my time on Riyadh's expat choir was short lived.  Not from lack of singing ability - of course not!   Life events served to interrupt my dreams of participating fully in the Riyadh Choral Society, and I haven't quite managed to get myself back there.  I remain, however, an ardent fan of this dedicated choir and  I am always promoting their existence to other Expats I meet who have reached that point where they are wanting to contemplate more than their navel while living in Riyadh.

If, one day, you meet a stranger selling tickets to a choral show in Riyadh, buy them, go, you may find yourself inspired to bolster the choir numbers.  And if this post has inspired you, click over to  Contact a Kiwi, drop me a line and I'll send you the Riyadh Choral Society addy.



Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Dance Fitnez in Riyadh

Are you looking for after school activities for your kids?  Did your New Years resolution include the words 'Get Fit' or 'Lose Weight'.  Then Dance Fitnez, a new comer to the Saudi expat scene, is for you.

DanceFitnez provides Hip Hop dance for kids (5 and up) and teens. The classes are all about fun, excitement and encouraging kids to express themselves through dance.  Kids learn some of the latest, and hottest, dance moves while grooving to popular songs.

For adults, fitness classes are in a Hip Hop dance format.  Adult DanceFitnez sessions are uniquely designed to maximize fitness, toning, weight-loss, and enjoyment.

It doesn't matter if you've never danced before.  Dance Fitnez classes are for all skill levels. Their well-trained instructors break down the moves into easy, simple steps so anybody can participate.  Before long you'll be able to break out your dance moves at Embassy get-togethers.

Keith Alexander, founder and director of DanceFitnez, has a wealth of experience behind him.  Growing up in New York City he was exposed to the many fun and exciting fitness options available and, after seeing a gap in the Saudi market, was inspired to provide a similar experience for expats here in Riyadh.

Adult classes are held on Sunday and Wednesday at 8pm. Kids classes are currently on Thursdays at 3pm and 4:30pm. If demand is high then Keith will look at opening more classes. The cost for an hour long session is 40sar.

To get details about location and up-to-date information about space availability in the classes call, or email, Keith on:

Phone: 054.682.6891
Email: dancefitnez@gmail.com 
www.dancefitnez.com



Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Falconry in Saudi Arabia

A falconry display in the Saudi Arabian desert on a beautiful, cloudless, blue sky day attracted a large contingent of expats.  The trip was organised by the American Community in Riyadh (ACRSA or, more commonly known as ACR).

As our group congregated at the meeting point in town, the local constabulary began circling about nervously in their cars.  Large gatherings of any description tend to by eyed suspiciously in the Magic Kingdom.  We were requested to move on ASAP.  Fortunately, our Saudi guide and falcon expert arrived to settle the nerves of all parties before we followed him, convoy fashion, out of town.  (A word of warning to more sedate drivers - Saudi's do not drive slowly, so when joining a Saudi convoy be prepared to flat foot it to keep up!).

We didn't have far to go.
A few kilometers from the edge of Riyadh we left the tarmac and bounced our way across flat, barren had desert to a spot our guide considered perfect for a falcon display.    Anticipation was in the air as we visitors left our vehicles and began milling about.

Eventually, some local chaps  rolled up in their desert vehicles and began laying out Arabian carpets, lighting a fire and setting large kettles of water to boil on the flames.  A fold up table was dragged from the back of a ute and  huge dishes of local cuisine were set out across it.  We hadn't expected to be fed at this shindig so had bought our own food, but a good Kiwi does not turn their nose up at hospitality - so we ate and drank qahwah, and watched as a number of hunting birds were carried from the vehicles to perches pushed into the desert sand.

After we had been sufficiently fed and watered it was time to take photo's of the hooded birds waiting patiently in the shade provided by parked 4WD's.   Our host called us all around for a talk on what is now considered the sport of falconry, though in the past the use of falcons to supplement a sparse desert diet was considered more essential than sport.

Our falconry host surrounded by paparazzi

We were told that the best raptors for hunting are wild falcons, caught when they are a couple of years old  to ensure they have naturally honed hunting skills.  Training a falcon takes time and patience and if you want more information on exactly how that is done head over to Arab Hunter for their take on falcon training.

With the talk over it was time to see the birds, and their masters, in action.  This required live bait.  If you visit the Pet Souq in Riyadh you will find pigeons for sale.  Pigeons are eaten in Saudi - by people, (take a look at my post on Eating Pigeon For Lunch) and by falcons.

Falcon Food

A couple of parents were a little shocked with the use of live birds for our entertainment and wondered where to hide the children.  The children received a rapid education on the cycle of life as it pertains to birds of prey that sounded something like this - falcons are hunters; birds will be chased and aerially attacked; such is life.

Whilst perched on the arm of their trainers, with talons gripped around a thick, protective leather glove, the falcons look beautiful.  Once the falcon's hood is removed they easily spot the movement of a bird in the distance and take flight with only one thought in mind.  They gather speed quickly, rising into the air above their prey, altering course as the bird locked into their radar attempts to escape, before diving in to attack.  Escape is futile. Usually.

Actually, on this day, a couple of pigeons did escape.
Who knew they had brains?
Instead of flying off into the empty blue yonder which, lets face, is certain death for a pigeon with a bird of prey on its rear, they flew straight under the utes and wouldn't come out to play.  The pigeon that did high tail it over the horizon wasn't supposed to get that far and a 4WD had to give chase to collect the released predator before it ate it's downed victim and flew off into the wild blue yonder, never to return.

Because the pigeons were not all co-operating by flying into the bright blue sky, and there was insufficient wind to lift a kite into the air with freshly slain meaty treats attached to the line,  it was decided to swing a lure around so we could see the birds more closely.  There would be photos of this activity but my skill with the point and shoot camera doesn't extend to capturing falcons diving at speed, so I'll leave that to your imagination.

But, here's a couple of other pics from our day.

Pots on the fire

Salah

Waiting for some action

The folks at ACR should be able to put you in touch with our Falconing guide if you think you have falconing in the blood, so pop over to their website, www.acrsa.com, and drop them a line.

Hubster loves Falcons, a couple of sculpted pieces are included in the decor in our flat and he is forever on the look out for more.  I swear, if he lives alone in his older years his home will one of those that will freak out any visiting youngsters because of the garish pieces of birds of prey hanging from every vantage point!   Today, he was totally chuffed we had a chance to watch Falconry in Saudi Arabia.


Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Groups for Expat Women In Riyadh

If you're a woman new to Riyadh and wanting to meet other expat women or want to join women's groups to socialse then the following information may help get you started.

 
 American Community in Riyadh, otherwise known as ACR, is one of my favourite groups for a few reasons but mostly because they organise a number of interesting activities, many being family focused. 

There is an annual registration fee to become a member though for a little more dineros non-members can sign up for activities, too. You do not have to be American to join but you do have to be an expat.

For more information visit their website http://www.acrsa.com


Corona Ladies - My second favourite group, Corona Ladies, is the Riyadh branch of Corona Worldwide, an organisation that provides worldwide fellowship for people moving to overseas posts.

Corona Ladies in Riyadh has monthly meetings throughout most of the year except the deep summer when the majority of expat women exit the country to escape the heat.  Each month Corona attendees are entertained, enthralled or updated by interesting speakers organised by the Corona Ladies committee.  Funds raised from the groups activities are donated to charities determined at an AGM at the start of each year.

Unfortunately there is no website for the Riyadh chapter of Corona ladies so getting connected is usually via an existing member.  Asking around should find you a Corona lady.  There is also an annual registration fee to join.

Womens Skills Bureau - The Womens Skills Bureau is a network for expat women to find some form of meaningful employment - whether that be paid or voluntary - as well as build your friends network.  Every few months they have events where potential employers can meet potential employees and women working in the Magic Kingdom can give newcomers a heads up on a working life in KSA, among other things. 

Women's Skills Bureau has a regular newsletter and a website http://www.wsb-ksa.com

Ladies For Networking - This group is the brain child of an entrepreneurial woman from Italy.  Every few months she brings together individuals and companies that provide services for women and families in and around Riyadh to present their wares and ideas.  It's quite an informative get together.  You need to be on the mailing list to find out about upcoming events.  To get on a mailing list keep your ear to the ground listening out for the next event then tag along.

For non-working expat women, and the occasional expat house husband (yes there are one or two), networking is a sanity saver.  Saudi isolation can drive you absolutely crazy.  If you're shy my advice is get over it - fast.

Of course you don't have to be part of the above groups in order to network and find friends.  Having children is always a great ice-breaker no matter where you live.  No kids?  Then the compound notice board, particularly at the larger western compounds, will advertise the activities they provide for all age groups.  These activities are usually only for compound residents but it's a great way to meet your neighbors.

Not in a large compound?  Then you have a bit more work to do to grow your social life.  Having been in this position myself I found the groups listed above a great place to start my networking.  Signing up on active internet forums such as Expat Blog was also a good move.  And being on the mailing list for Haya Tours has allowed me to broaden my Saudi cultural experience as well.

Of course, if you are working in Saudi then you will have work colleagues to socialize with, though if you get sick of working with, living with and socializing with your work colleagues (which is a complaint often heard in the Magic Kingdom) then it is healthy to take steps to broaden your friendship circle.

If you are fortunate enough to be befriended by local Saudis and, as in my case, be taken under the wing of their family then your expat view on life in Saudi takes on an added dimension.  It is possible to see behind the veil and find a group of people as diverse in nature as humans are capable of being anywhere in the globe.

The transient nature of the KSA expat population means that networking for expats, men and women, is an essential ongoing activity, as we are social beings after all.  Making friends in Saudi Arabia is a huge contributing factor to enjoying your experience here, so don't delay, go forth and network at not just one, but all the groups available for expat women in Riyadh.




Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Cats in Riyadh, Open Paws

There are loads of cats in Riyadh.
They roam the streets and compound walls and fossick through the street rubbish or lounge atop the skip bin lips in between rubbish feasts.  They aren't in the best of feline health though.

Cats here, as in many countries the world over, are dumped and left to fend for themselves once the novelty of the cute kitten fades and the cat owner just can't be bothered being a cat owner any more.

Even in Kiwiland we have a bit of an issue with wild cats killing off local bird life, their population assisted by a known relative or two I'd like to knock on the head for getting yet another cat they don't look after bleating yet again 'O God, I forgot, I have to be responsible for this animal.  This one doesn't look after itself either!' 

Fortunately there are great forests in Kiwiland with lots of birds and other cat lovely edibles so the wild cats we come across look fat, if not somewhat matted and unfriendly.  We also have the SPCA - Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. 

In Saudi the conditions are a lot more harsh for turfed cats.

Now, I'm not a cat person myself and you won't find me feeding wayward cats because I feel sorry for them - there are enough cat lovers on the compound who do that - but it is somewhat annoying when certain expats, along with the locals, decide to get a cat for their kids then leave the cat in the courtyard when they upsticks and exit the country.

The ex-cat owners who release their cats out in the desert and expect they're going to survive are complete and utter nutters!  Who do they expect is going to care for the animal?  Oh, that's right, 'The one who sees and knows all'.

I'm quite certain ex-cat owners have no idea how hard it is to survive on the street as a cat.  We regularly hear cats scrapping outside - screeching, bawling, hissing and yowling.  It is not uncommon to come across beaten up, limping cats in Riyadh looking understandably mangy.  

And then, of course, the abandoned animal starts breeding because the previous owner didn't quite get round to getting the cat fixed.  Result - more cats with questionable survival rates.  The kind soul who comes around pleading for someone to please take a kitten is usually directed to Lana.

Lana is a vet in Riyadh who runs a not for profit charity called Open Paws.  It's an organisation dedicated to helping the hundreds of animals in need of care in Riyadh.  There are no animal shelters in KSA and although the religion says be kind to animals the law, apparently, is not quite so up with the play and when it comes to animals Saudi's have their own quirky (some may say warped) idea of what being kind means (refer back to 'turf me out in the desert').

Lana has been neutering and spaying street cats and those cats who have made themselves at home on compounds for some time along with improving their health status.  When she first started she was doing this all at her own cost and without much help. 

Now, a few animal lovers have got on board with her and are helping out with Open Paws.  She still requires volunteers to assist, and a few rich dudes with money to send her way would certainly be welcomed with open arms to build an animal shelter.

Open Paws runs a Trap-Neuter-Return program in certain areas.  They also attempt to re-home animals through pet adoptions and they always need foster carers for animals.  Visit their website www.openpaws.org to find out more and then give Lana a call.

The cat in this video is just one of many that Open Paws assists: