38 Again

Tomorrow, I might be 38 - again.
I've been bouncing between 36 and 38 for the last couple of years, and no, I'm not talking bra size.
Do you remember the day the Spice Girls met Nelson Mandela and Ginger told him 'You're as young as the girl you feel'?  Well, every year on my birthday (which is tomorrow in case you've woken up a bit slow this morning) how young I feel on waking determines how old I intend to be that year.

Today I feel 38, but who knows...if I have an awesome day today and an excellent sleep tonight, waking up with more of a bounce in my step than a cramp in my calf, I might feel 36 again.  Feeling 26 would be awesome, but I've seen more of the world of late which has caused me to grow up a little too much to go back there again, and really, the current lack of collagen under the skin makes believing that a bit of a stretch even for me when someone asks 'So, how many years is that now?'...as if anyone rude enough to ask is actually going to get the truth!

Hubster thinks my maturity levels could still do with more growth, but he's been collecting Grumpy Old Man tickets recently (I sense he's feeling his age - if he adopted my methods I'm fairly certain he'd feel much younger!) and I admit to entertaining myself razzing any of his silly 'Grow Up' suggestions and scowly looks. (Very mature of me!).

Given that kitchen duty at our place belongs to moi, my guess is we'll be heading out for dinner tomorrow evening, probably to our local favourite Chinese place, and order something Tepanyaki to get the Yummy Yummy experience in lieu of a 'Happy Birthday' song.  (At Gate of Jazeera you get Yummy Yummy with any Tepanyaki order, unless it arrives during salah when drumming spoons and shouting 'Yummy Yummy' would not be appropriate).

A couple of years ago singing the 'Happy Birthday' song in restaurants got banned in Saudi by the Fun Police.  The creative types in the country came up with alternatives to the actual song, so now in some establishments you can get a Happy Birthday clap rhythm with associated rap lyrics - something along the lines of

'[clap, clappity, clap, clap clap]
Happy Happy Birthday
[clap, clap, clap. Clap, clappity, clap, clap, clap]
Have a Happy Birthday
[clap, clap, clap],
 Happy Happy Birthday
 [clap, clap, clap],
Happy Happy Birthday [pause] to you'. 

 (Obviously the creative types aren't into original lyrics).

Those new to Saudi who don't realize that celebrating birthdays by singing little ditties is frowned upon are slightly baffled at the rap version of Happy Birthday that accompanies their birthday cake as its carried ceremoniously through diners, with candles ablaze, and placed in front of the surprised and blushing recipient.

Never having been a fan of the rap genre, there is something missing from all the clapping and chanting - oh yes, melody!   And we outgoing types who usually like to join in such festive musical interludes, because its great sharing other peoples joy, happiness and positive vibes, find contributing to the clappity adaptation a little difficult because each location tends to serve up its own rap version.  Anyway, in lieu of the singing Happy Birthday experience or the rappity clappity, I'll settle for Yummy Yummy and marvel at the fact I'm still in Saudi when, once again, I turn 38 - or thereabouts.



Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Don’t get too excited about Jeddah’s new aquarium

I spent this morning chuckling over an article by Sabira S Jawhar in the Arab News - Don’t get too excited about Jeddah’s new aquarium.  Pertinent pieces of text, which had very little to do with the aquarium itself were read to Hubster as he sat at his desk attempting to start his day, but being distracted by moi who was finding the item quite entertaining.

The article targets some subtle criticism at Saudi's Virtue Promoters who tend to be guilty of poorly considered, rather backward behavior that is in stark contrast to the goals of Saudi's current hierarchy in their attempts to move society forward.   It's Saudi's version of a tug-of-war.  Enjoy the read - Don’t get too excited about Jeddah’s new aquarium.

Ka Kite,
Kiwi

We Must Leave Our Abaya's On When Dining

Not so long ago, whilst settling into a dining cubicle to eat, we got told we must leave our abaya's on, even if we shut the cubicle curtains to ensure privacy.

We were ladies three, the gentleman informing us of the rules was not a local Arab. 
He was very apologetic.

The rational presented by this gentleman had little to do with his belief in the culture nor religion.  Apparently the Bearded Ones have been frequenting the place and he was concerned what would happen should they come back while we were so fully clothed, yet bare.

A recent e-mail doing the rounds indicates it is now possible for Bearded Ones to peek behind the drawn curtains at eateies to check on the patrons.  How is this possible when gender mixing is not allowed and eye aversion is encouraged?

It seems The Powers That Be have been chewing over this issue and are apparently going to deploy civilian men and women to support the Hai'a.  

Someone must have figured out it's not good PR for male BO's to be swooping on Family Sections and the women within them they are highly likely not related to.  It smacks of 'do as I say, not as I do', hence the rational to utilise females for the job.

If Saudi does deploy/hire women as religious enforcers I'm going to have to find another name for the BO's because Female Bearded One just isn't nice, though the acronym F-BO has a 'truth and justice' ring to it, don't you think?

Photo credit: www.theparisreview.org;

Women as PVPV assistants is bound to come with its own logistical issues I'm sure, but I have just one query.

There have been instances when young men have dressed in the black garb to infiltrate women only areas or to meet a young lady for coffee and a chat.  Could an F-BO order another veiled being to unveil if she suspects the voice hailing from beneath the niqab sounds a little deep and manly, even if the owner of The Voice argues she has laringitis? 

I'm no expert but, I gather if a woman chooses to stay covered, she can and there's not a darn thing anyone can do about it. 

This article about a man who had never seen his wifes' face, highlights the fact there are women who never remove their veil for anybody, not even their children. 

It might actually be fun being a Female Promoter of Things Good and Preventer of Things Bad.  It get's you out of the house and you'll have opportunity to meet loads of people whilst peeking.  Though there has been no mention of remuneration I presume there is, if not a pay scale, some form of reward for participation.  One hopes their training will cover the ability to converse civilly and the concept that a kind, smiling approach tends to get better results.

Regardless of the training these women may receive and their role in the establishment,  it is annoying that, should the cubicle curtains be closed for privacy, my friends and I are not, apparently, allowed to relax behind them any way we choose.



Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Emptying Dining Spots

The Bearded Ones have been emptying dining spots throughout Riyadh recently.  I'm not exactly sure what their goal is with this strategy.

Since the King graciously gifted them their huge, ummm, payout they've kept busy driving around in their flash new wheels ....

 ....ensuring eateries in Riyadh are empty for daytime salah's.  Previously it was possible to stay in a nice dining spot to wait out prayer time.  In fact, such places of refuge were sought by women specifically for that purpose. 

Now it seems it's not OK.

The staff say that the Spiritual Guiders turn up to the premises frequently around prayer time to check that no-one is there. 

One wonders if those who lead the Bearded Ones (BO's) have given this latest move a lot of thought.  Not that I'm an expert in the area but the ladies I have been with both times we were asked to leave our coffees, are. 

They believe in this religion. 

It annoys them that extremism means they aren't allowed to live it.

You see, the majority of patrons in cafe's during the day are women.  Shafting women from the safe comfort of a cafe during prayer time is doing a number of things.

Firstly, it's keeping women out of eateries until after the last salah, which during the summer months is 9.30pm.  The afternoon we went for coffee at a popular spot the place was empty. I did wonder why, till we were asked to leave.  The drop in customers must be affecting the bottom line of businesses.

The BO's might think they're doing a great job keeping women at home during the day. 

image - bnet.com

Ummmm.  Not really.  I gather all they do is trawl malls more often, visit each other at homes more often or go to hotels to have coffee because, presently, you can't get turfed from a hotel lobby coffee lounge during salah.

Just today we went to a hotel for coffee.  The place was chokka with women....and men.  Let us not forget the male of the species like to meet over green tea and cake as well.

Those women who don't know about this latest tactic of the BO's are actually forced into dangerous situations (from a Saudi-Muslim point of view anyway).  If their chosen diner is not located at a Mall, (most of my favourite coffee spots are not at Malls.  Mall Food Halls tend to serve junk food and crap coffee neither of which I'm partial too for health and palatability reasons) and they don't have a driver waiting outside (which we didn't once) they are left to wander the streets making frantic calls to their significant male to come get them now or they must search out taxi's (driven by unrelated men) to drive them to the relative safety of....well any place they can get into, which is usually a mall.

The other day when my friend and I (a different local lady this time) were requested by staff to vacate our comfy dining seats we headed out to her waiting car and drove to my place because, one, it was closest and, two, I could guarantee that our coffee and important discussion on educational planning would not be interrupted.

It is not uncommon for women to have business meetings and due diligence discussions about potential mates for their close male relatives over coffee and a spot of lunch.   The BO's latest endeavor has thrown a spanner in that little practice.  (My friends say potential mothers or sisters in-law like to suss each other out at coffee shops.  Undercover reconnaissance is easy in this country when you're constantly wearing your black disguise).

You may ask why the women aren't going to pray at prayer times? 
Well, many do.  At home.  Whenever I'm visiting the ladies at their homes they have excused themselves to go pray.

As for those not at home, my friends have told me it is not a requirement for women to go to mosques to pray, so why The Fervent insist on shooing women out to a mosque is contrary to common accepted practice.

Also, although there a specified prayer times,  it is not absolutely necessary to pray at those designated times.  In fact, my friends said when they choose to pray is between themselves and God.

Apparently, if a Muslim is indisposed at a prayer time (as in, at a meeting in a nice place that serves lunch) they can make up that prayer at another time that day.   The men do this all the time when they are working or at conferences.  The Religious Vice Seekers are actually, say my friends, interfering in women's right to practice their conversations with Allah as they choose.  They should, in short, be keeping their sticky beaks out of other peoples' God relationship. 

I also think the Religious Leaders need to learn to trust their fellow Muslims.  The majority love their religion and know how to do the right thing.  Those that don't....well Allah has warned them.

The other reason women are not praying during Salah is that menstruating women are unclean and are not allowed to pray.

Given there's a population of about 4 million Saudi women of marriageable age running around Saudi Arabia, with the majority of those apparently residing in Riyadh, that's a lot of Aunty Flo's not allowed near a prayer mat.

As an aside, If you're an expat woman coming to Saudi and want tampons, bring your own, about a years supply.  They're extremely hard to find here due to the risks, I've been told, of hymen damage and, more importantly, women getting pleasure from their insertion and removal.......Yep, I "ooo baby" over my used tampax all the time!  (Sorry about that visual guys, but the Bearded rational really is sick, don't you think?  It's like saying men get pleasure every time they grasp their Tallywhacker to bleed the lizard.  Who know's, maybe you men do and just haven't told us that yet!)

Does a woman have to explain her menstrual condition to an unrelated man, even if he's part of the Bearded New SUV Club?  Does she need BO's permission to miss prayer because she's bleeding.  Absolutely bloody not!  What is going on with her body is between herself and her creator...and possibly her female relatives and her husband.

I get the feeling not being able to sit in a coffee shop when it is their right to do so, is starting to annoy many women, but what can they do?

Yet again, the reputation of this country being totally patriarchal and extreme is highlighted with the Bearded Ones latest crusade to interfere in women's business and empty dining spots throughout Riyadh at prayer times.



Ka Kite,
Kiwi