Dust or Sandstorm in Saudi?

Photo credit: Kay

Dust is part and parcel of Saudi life an unwelcome aspect of the weather you learn to live with.  Little sand storms, or dust storms (which is the term I prefer because the air tastes like dust), are fairly common in Saudi covering everything in a thin layer of fine sand particles.  Every now and then though, a real doozy of a dust storm passes through changing the surroundings to an eerie color and sending everyone indoors.

Dust storms seem to arrive out of the blue.  One minute blue sky, next minute orange.  If you're out shopping when a dust storm hits you hope you shut all your windows before leaving the house.   If you're home when a storm arrives, put a draft stopper against your external doors and turn off the air con.

Here's a video of a sand storm that blew in two days ago.

If the sand storm is a doozy you can see it coming, as in this picture of the sand storm that rolled into the city in 2009:

Photo credit: Newsbeat BBC

Here's a picture inside the Riyadh airport in the 2010 storm when someone forgot to shut the windows and left the air con going:

Photo credit: wafagirl.com

Here's what the airport is supposed to look like:

 Here is a video of driving into the dust storm that came a couple of days ago.

Video credit: Jez

It rained after the dust storm the other day, though not enough to wash the dust away.   just enough to make the flowers look bedraggled.

The next day the weather was beautiful, and the maintenance guys went round washing the dust off everything, including the trees and the maids got busy sweeping, mopping and dusting homes from top to bottom.


Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Register at Hospital In Saudi Arabia

One thing that expats should do as soon as possible after arriving in Saudi Arabia is to register at their hospital of choice.  And ensure that your employer has sorted out your medical insurance.  Here’s a story from Arab News:

Payment first, treatment next

By ARAB NEWS
Published: Oct 4, 2010 23:47 Updated: Oct 4, 2010 23:47

RIYADH: Bank officials and customers were perplexed when an ambulance with sirens blaring and lights flashing rushed to the parking lot of a local bank.

Nurses then disembarked along with a man in a stretcher; the entire group then entered the bank. Onlookers were left confused and thought paramedics had mistaken the hospital for a bank.

This was, it later transpired, not the case. The man had fallen extremely ill, but the hospital had refused him treatment without advance payment. The man then requested the hospital staff to take him to the bank to withdraw money and pay for his treatment, Shams newspaper reported.

Rumor has it that if you rock up sick to a hospital in Riyadh, and you are not registered at that particular institution, they will not let you see a doctor till the paperwork is done.  This sounds fairly normal really, I mean anytime I visit a doctor for the first time, they ask me to fill in a form while I wait for my appointment.

But this is Riyadh!

The compound ladies told me that the administrative processes in this region are elephants, really big, old elephants, and the ‘care factor’ about your situation is usually non-existent (What, in a hospital they don’t care? Apparently not in admin), so you’re pretty much guaranteed you will be hanging around the waiting room for awhile.

The idea of suffering immeasurable pain or discomfort and being held up at reception while clerks loaf around with the ‘Going slow and loving it’ button on is not really a situation that I’d like to be in.

They recommended that I make an appointment at the hospital for a checkup so that I can get registered before illness strikes.  They also said take a good book and a huge does of patience – the wait can be long.

The other option is that Glenn can go to the hospital and, being my husband, he can register both of us. This means the hospital will have a file in my name, but it’s empty – no BP, Temp, Heart rate or medical history. They’ll have to wait till I arrive, unwell, to fill in that info.  That doesn't really strike me as a good plan either, but apparently that's the one he has opted for, primarily because of all that expat advise.

He is asking a Saudi work colleague to accompany him - one for the language barrier, and two, because things tend to happen slightly faster when a Saudi guy asks for it.

Personally, I think I’d prefer the first option – any excuse for a day out.
(Are you getting bored Gae? Feeling a little cabin fever maybe?...... Noooo!)

I have actually been to a hospital here already, to do the medical for my Iqama, but being new to Riyadh I was a little nervous. There was no need to be.  It's looked and felt like a hospital, except for a couple of quirky Saudi things.

I do wonder why my details wouldn't already be in the hospital records from that visit, but I guess that would mean the elephant was thinking….not something a Saudi elephant is renowned for.

Hospitals here are largely staffed by expats - a term I’m broadly applying to anyone who is not Saudi – and weirdly, when it comes to Saudi health and clinical staff, the ‘expat’ tag tends to negate the co-mingling rule just a little.

Health professionals (Doctors and the like) are not actually exempt from the 'no interaction' decree, but how both parties (doctor/patient) maintain face is interesting.

According to stories I've heard, all second hand so…. OK, it’s gossip, most Saudi women stay covered in the presence of a male doctor, so he really has no clue who he’s dealing with – perfect time to send in your cousin for that blood test that might show drugs.  And it is not uncommon for doctors to write scripts for patients without actually having done a full assessment, because that might require getting close and touching a member of the opposite sex.

I dread to think how many misdiagnosed people on the wrong kinda drugs are running around Saudi right now!

And on the flip side, I wonder how doctors here can really improve their skills if 8 times out of 10, they can’t perform even the most basic assessments properly?

This may explain why, when I saw the doctor for my Iqama, he lept to his feet to listen to my heart, check my eyes and look in my throat (very basic stuff) once he ascertained I was neither Muslim nor Saudi.  It still makes me wonder why I’m not already on the books though? I mean what info did he record and where did he record it?

In most other countries, the motivation for a doctor’s actions in a consult is his/her professionalism (barring the occasional weirdo) – but I reckon without doubt the greater force influencing the Saudi doctor/patient relationships is fear. Some argue it’s custom, but actually it’s fear.

Fear by the doctor of being accused, should he dare move from behind his desk and look like he's going to wield his stethoscope, as an inappropriate practitioner (chopping block accusations those are); Fear by the patient of being labeled a bad Muslim and, for the ladies especially, a dishonorable woman.

In a country where flashing a bit of ankle skin is sufficient for fallacious labels, showing anything else....well….Hussy!!

It seems the carry on in Saudi hospitals has concerned the present King (it probably concerns a number of people, but I’m giving him the credit) because they are currently building a women only university which will house, among other things, ‘13 colleges, including those for medicine, dentistry, nursing, naturopathy and pharmacy, several laboratories and a 700-bed hospital equipped with state-of-the-art facilities’. (I’m guessing it will be a woman only hospital).

They’ll be churning out female medical practitioners in huge numbers once this University gets up and running.

This article gives a little insight into the Princess Noura University and Saudi women and education

The fact that there will be a college for Naturopathy gives me hope that the medical model of birthing that currently abounds in hospitals in Saudi will give way to a more natural birth philosophy. (I might not be practicing as a midwife right now, but that doesn't mean I don’t care).

And who knows, one day they may fully embrace Homeopathy too.
Heck, if the Saudi health system and hospitals get that progressive, I may never leave.


Ka Kite,
Kiwi

M - Magic Maid

Our unit looks lovely today because M, our Magic Maid, was here yesterday. She comes once a fortnight and spends 3 hours making the place shine.  M is a housekeeper (a.k.a. maid) for one of the villas here on our compound. She has a bit of time on her hands during the day when her employer is out, so she provides her cleaning services to a number of other homes in the complex.

S, her employer, is perfectly happy with this arrangement because having a few other homes to clean keeps M busy, otherwise she’d just be hanging around his place. He certainly doesn’t mind her making a few extra Riyals to send home for the kids and she has never been negligent with her chores at his place, so he sees no reason to curb her little enterprise.

We like her because she does a wonderful job.

My own efforts at getting this place to shine have failed miserably.  I’m obviously using the wrong elbow grease.  As my father says, ‘I have the right idea, but the execution lets me down’. Dust gets onto everything in this desert city (no kidding!), especially if you leave the windows open, which we do because we’re country folk who like fresh air.

I tried living with the windows shut for a few weeks. Never again – it was a very claustrophobic, cloying feeling. Yuk! It made me tired and ill. Seriously! I wasn't just making excuses to lie around - I can do that with the windows open.  Regardless of the hint of dust that may be in it, I prefer the open air.

M came with good references (we know her employer) and she lives on site, so we know where to find her should there be ‘issues’. There never have been.  That's because M is not stupid. She knows she’s on a good wicket – much better than a lot of maids here. She’s not about to do anything that might jeopardize her employment and affect her kids and mum back home.

It’s a win-win situation for everybody.

When she comes to clean our apartment, I go out – literally. I organize to be someplace else for 3 hours.

Lots of other expats I know who employ part-time maids stay home to oversee the cleaning operation - that is, they keep an eye on the maid so she doesn't disappear with the silverware (they've obviously heard a few Bad Maid stories), and to make sure she, or he (there are a number of guys who do house cleaning), does the job properly. (What do you call a male maid?)

Our place is too small for me to be here while M’s cleaning, and besides, for reasons already mentioned, I see no need to stick around and hinder her cleaning magic (and ironing – she does The Husbands’s shirts, he loves it) .

My friend Mrs K has loads of stories about maids. She went through a few when in Singapore.  She’s had a maid that stole things – FIRED.  One maid used to smack her kids – definitely FIRED.  One lied about her age by using her cousins ID (she was only 16) – DILEMMA resulted in sorry we can’t keep you.  She’s had a maid who supposedly had training but obviously hadn't – BACK to the agency you go.  And she’s had a lazy maid – definitely NOT a keeper.

There are maids that try to take advantage of you with emotional stories of a hard life back home, stories that usually end in ‘Can I have an advance on my pay? Mrs K got sucked in felt sorry once and gave the advance.  She never saw the maid again.

Finding a good maid in this country is undoubtedly a trial and error process and when you get one, sing Hallelujah! (Quietly though, in case someone hears).

Of course the reverse applies too.
Maids finding good sponsor families is a hit and miss affair.

I spoke to a couple of live-in maids the other day who have been with their respective families for a few years. They say it’s hard work from dawn to dusk and beyond with few breaks, but their employers are good people who speak to them nicely, who pay on time, every time and always fulfill their contract obligations for holiday time off.

These ladies appreciate they could be some place worse – because just as there are ’Bad Maid’ stories, there are horrible, decidedly worse, ‘Bad Employer of Maids’ stories. Google the internet for treatment of maids in KSA and you’ll find:

Maids are being beaten – the standard attitude here is they obviously deserved it.   

Maids get raped – perpetrators if Saudi go free and the maids probably deserved it.

Maids get locked up – it’s for their own good and what an employer does with his/her property (maid) is no-one’s business.  

Maids can work for months and not get paid – And the problem with that is.....??

In Riyadh, Embassies are the point of contact where maids can take any grievances they may haveabout their conditions of employment (if they're brave enough and can escape) but, being government bodies, the Embassy’s play this delicate balancing act between holding the Saudi 's to account and being expelled from the country for pissing them off over something trivial, like maids.

These political games result in ‘turning a blind eye’ which only contributes to the fact that maid abuse in this country is fairly common.

We went looking at villas outside the compound recently with a view to moving out.  Every home had maid’s quarters up on the roof. I was shocked. I’d heard stories of employers locking their maids at home when they go out. I had visions of chillin’ out in the house – eat some food, read a mag, watch TV.... I hadn’t realized they lock them onto the roof!  These are 3 storey buildings.  Unless you're Rapunzel with the long hair to make a ladder or have a stash of sheets under your mattress to tie together, you're stuck.

The rooms up there are tiny, many were lockable, a couple were windowless and some had no air con.  As far as I’m concerned, anyone who expects a maid to live in those conditions is already guilty of abuse.  And stories of abuse are plenty.  Here's one just recently about a maid from Sri Lanka who had nails hammered into her body by her employers.  How can people treat another human like that?

A couple of things do concern me about this article

• Saudi Arabian authorities could not be reached for immediate verification (that the perpetrators were apprehended)....
• No further details were available (about said apprehension, investigation or possible punishment) and...
• The two suspects have not been named.

It smells of deceit and cover up to me!

Editor's Note Update:

I’ve heard via the grapevine (The Husband and the Gulf News) that Saudi will no longer employ people from Sri Lanka and urge ‘all private recruitment offices in the country to refrain from signing further contracts for the employment of Sri Lankans’. Guess that particular balancing act went pear shaped!

The Husband heard this action was due to an inability of Saudi and Sri Lankan officials to reach agreement on some issue....Gee, I wonder what that could be?  The maimed, and not by magic, maid perhaps?





Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Kissing in Saudi Arabia

Kissing in Saudi Arabia is, well, different.  It occurred to me one day, how strange it is that a greeting that we take for granted back home is practically considered a criminal act here in Saudi. I’m talking about expats greeting a friend or relative of the opposite gender with a hug or a kiss.

It also takes we western types a little while to get used to members of the same gender kissing away 3, 4 or 5 times on one or both cheeks when they meet.   For women this is fine, it seems we are generally accepted as the kissy half of the species.  But I’d say many western guys find male cheek pressing is just a bit ‘nudge, nudge, wink, wink, better not drop the soap’ unblokey. Even with the argument of ‘But it’s their culture’…. the Western men I known (The Husband and Alan, my huge social circle) are extremely grateful Saudi Arab males are happy to just shake their western hands.

People who hail from kissy countries must find it very hard to curb a greeting that comes naturally to them.

One night, we went to dinner with Hubby’s friend, a Frenchman, very charming.  After dinner, he dropped us off outside the compound. There was another car parked in the road with Saudi occupants. Mr Frenchman said, complete with authentic French accent, “If we were in France I’d kiss you goodnight, but we are in Riyadh and these people might have me thrown in jail’. So, instead, he extended his hand, we shook, he said goodnight, lovely to meet you, and left.

What’s significant about this little scenario is that if he had forgotten where he was and given me a completely natural, for a Frenchman anyway, farewell kiss on both cheeks and the Saudi family present had been offended, he may well have been apprehended.

Of course it’s not just French men who hug and kiss their female friends and relatives – lots of nations do. Even good old NZ’ers do.

The other day, another friend was visiting from Dubai on business.  He’s Scottish. We met him for dinner.  In any other location I would’ have kissed him on the cheek with a ‘hey good to see you again’.  But we were in a busy hotel lounge in Riyadh so to prevent Saudi jaws from hitting the floor in horror of such offensiveness to public decency I extended my hand and explained,’ I’d kiss you but that might cause a stir’ and we settled with a good old handshake.  I admit that, had I not had the previous experience with Mr Frenchman, it would not have occurred to me to restrain myself when meeting Mr Scotsman.

It did feel rather odd to not greet a friend in the usual manner.  I do wonder what would have happened.  Would all hell have broken loose?  Would the religious police have been called to educate us on acceptable practice?  Educating people is apparently a major part of their job description.

What really makes me think this place has taken the hands off approach a bit far is when a husband and wife are frowned upon for kissing each other hello in public.  And I’m not talking major pash which, seriously, only happens at the end of feel good American movies.  I mean a simple kiss on the cheek.

Giving Hubster a peck on the check when I meet him after work comes so naturally that often I forget Saudi customs, or perhaps I'm subconsciously rebelling against silly ideals.   He gets a kiss on the cheek and a hug and sometimes we even hold hands. Couples hand holding, by the way, is allowed, the king said so.  Married couples only of course, though I’ve heard via the grapevine that this is a very recent allowance only practiced by the younger more modern Saudi’s – which is another way of saying not a lot of that happens either.

I can understand that not kissing someone hello is another cultures norm – I can.  But I wonder at what point do the non-kiss practitioners say “ok I’m going to respect the kissers”. For example, we have a French family on the compound. They have 2 teenage sons and a pre-teen daughter.  At a bar-b-q the kids went along and said hello to everybody.  And, as is French custom, they kissed all the ladies on the cheek. Well almost all. One Muslim lady almost put her neck out throwing herself away from the oncoming kiss on the cheek and the young man wasn't sure what he’d done wrong. Would she have reacted this way if she was at a Bar-b in France?  Or would she respect that this greeting is French – just go with the flow?

I often wonder how Saudi’s would handle a powhiri? Or a hongi?  And I have no doubt that sleeping on a marae just ain’t gonna happen – so much for culture exchange.

I do question why all visitors to Saudi must bow to the rules and put their own cultural practices on ice. Yet, Saudis, not all but a fair amount, are less than happy when other nations say ‘While you’re on our turf we won’t accept your cultural cover up practice’, which is a stance that France is taking.

I have to say, I've got my pom pom’s out for France.
And kissing.

Ka Kite,
Kiwi

Compound Living in Riyadh

'What's it like living in a compound in Riyadh?' I often get asked.

It's quite weird saying "I live in a compound".  It has this confinement quality to it.....which in a sense is exactly what it is, but anyway.....

Compounds vary in size, quality and obviously cost.  The smallest I've visited has 25 residences and the largest has around 400 residences.  Compounds, the ones that white collar westerners like, have a reputation of being notoriously hard to get into.  Some have waiting lists of 1 year or more.  To jump the queue (which happens a lot) it's who you know, not what you know.

Compounds are deemed to be safer for westerners than living in 'mainstream' accommodation   (Given the 'incident' of 2003, that's a questionable statement).  They all have security of varying levels, so you need clearance to enter.  If you invite guests to visit, their names must be put at the gate.  This does tend to curb the 'I thought I'd just drop by your compound to see you on a whim' activity, but that's a small price for peace of mind.  Forgetting to put someones name at the gate when you've organised for them to visit does cause a few problems -  mostly for the visitor left waiting in the heat.  Not that I've ever made such a blue, I'm just saying.....

Saudi's are not permitted within most expat compounds, a situation that causes a fair amount of debate for some people and I might write a blog on it one day.  Abaya wearing is also not required (and in most cases, as on our compound, not permitted) either.  One family moved out of our compound because the husband insisted that his wife was to wear an abaya when outside the house.  Management insisted he find other accommodation because this is a Western compound, live it or leave.

Compound dwelling allows you to live free from the restrictions of life 'outside'.   I guess the biggest benefits for me are there's no gender segregation so you can interact freely with your neighbors and you can wear normal clothes.  Normal from a western perspective that is - shorts, T-shirts - that kind of stuff.  About the only thing you can't do is enjoy a glass of red at the end of the day :(

Prior to moving here, The Husband brought me to have a look at Riyadh to see what I thought.  We did a tiki tour of other compounds because he was certain (I don't know why) that I wouldn't like where he's been living for the last 18 months.  He had even handed in his notice.  So much for "I'll wait till you've looked around before I do anything". 

My criteria for a place to stay was:

- a pool I can do laps in,

- a gym

- and my absolute can't live without, a coffee shop. 

Not hard criteria to fill as most compounds have all of these.  As a bonus we have a tennis court, a squash court and an out door badminton/volley ball court.  There's also a games room upstairs with a pool table that is rarely used.

What I really like about this compound is its location.  It's right in the middle of the city.  During the day I can just walk out the gate and head to the shops.  And it's only a 15 minute walk to The Husbands work place.  Women from compounds further out have to wait for compound buses or organize drivers or catch taxis in to town because women are not permitted to drive in Saudi.

Our compound is considered small by western standards but it has a really nice set up and is nicely maintained.  There are only about 60 residences here - a combination of 1 and 2 bedroom apartments and 3 bedroom villas (the villas are huge).   Some come partially furnished (if you ask) or you buy your own.  IKEA is big business in Riyadh.

Our apartment is part of the 'bachelor pad' block - only 1 beddies.  Since arriving I've bought a couch - Mr Batchin-It didn't have one (have you tried relaxing watching a DVD on dining chairs?) - and more recently a water cooler and an oven:

Where's your oven?

Don't have one.

Why not?

Flat didn't come with one.  The hotplates and microwave are all I need.
And the microwave's got convection cooking.

Have you used it?

No. 

The Husbands Pantry prior my arrival.  Note the baked beans.  They were on special.

During my reconnaissance mission last August I was informed that the larger compounds tend to have 'clicky' groups that stick together, usually based on nationality, which is fine if you like that sort of thing but if you came for a cultural experience living with 'your own' isn't really the way to get it - my opinion only.  This compound is too small to have that problem (Is that a problem??).  Anyway, there's a nice mix of ethnicity's and age groups living here that I really enjoy and it's a great way to build a network for free holiday accommodation around the world.  Lined up already is an apartment in Paris, a house in the Philippines and a home in Spain.

Sure there are some things we don't have being a smaller place - like free child care (not that I need that), a hair salon (there are plenty just down the road) or a bowling alley, and sure it's not perfect - what place is - but compared to other compounds I reckon it's pretty good.

So, The Husband withdrew his notice - fortunately they hadn't processed it - and we are still living in the same compound in Riyadh.

If you're in the market for a compound in Riyadh then you may want to peruse the list of compounds on this website.

What To Expect When Visiting Saudi Homes

Expats who are fortunate enough to get an invite to a Saudi home, because not all of them do, are not sure what to expect.   Life here is so different to back home and rumurs are rife about what Saudi's are like.  This post outlines what I have come across on my first visits to the homes of Saudi friends.  It may not be exactly the same for each home and I am by no means and expert on Saudi home visit etiquette, plus most of my friends are from the middle classes (upper class is something else again), but it gives you a bit of an idea how things go from a female perspective.

• Automatic opening door -Saudi women should not be seen in public unless covered. The women I have met do not cover in their own homes (I'm presuming this is the case for all Saudi women at home).  So, when I visit my Saudi friends they stand behind behind the door and the door opens apparently on its own.  The first time this happened it took me a second or two of contemplation 'What should I do?'  'No point standing out here'.  I walked in.  My host greeted me once inside.


• Send out the child - for my first visit to another Saudi home I called from my mobile to say 'I think I'm in the right street'.  Her brother had drawn a map.  Glenn can vouch that maps and I are a combination that usually, though not on this occasion, results in 'LOST'.   On this day, my friend sent her young son to the gate so I could see exactly which house to go to.


• Shake hands while kissing on the cheek - usually 3 kisses - 1 on one cheek, 2 on the other.
  
  I actually get a bit confused about this - how many kisses, which cheek first.  Apparently, so I've read on the net, Arabs from different regions have different protocols depending on situaton.  Situation examples being - Is this a first visit, are you a good friend, are you a relative, how close a relative and so on.  One day I'm going to ask exactly what is what because, as any person with half a brain knows, and I've spent lots of time meditating to improve my brain capacity so there must be grey matter in abundance, what you read in cyber space and fact can be two vastly different things.  For now I reckon it's best just to hang my cheek in the vicinity of a possible kiss, or three, so if they come cool, if not no worries.
  
  The hand shake is not your firm kind either.  Very soft and gentle which, from a western perspective, is more akin to floppy.  It can feel a bit weird at first.  The other day I met an Aussie bloke who obviously hails from the 'If I can hurt them I'm a shit hot fella' line of thinking.  Won't be shakin' his hand again that's for sure.  Dick wad!

• Greeted by my host. I am welcomed and then queried about my health and the health of my family.
  
  Apparently it's good form to be interested in each others well being, which is no different from any other culture. I've heard that Saudi etiquette expects you and your host to spend quite a bit of time asking after each others health and that of the spouse, the kids, your parents, any other immediate whanau, the in-laws, other relatives and on and on.  Being half way intelligent (as per paragraph above), I expect discussion that detailed is appropriate if you actually know the family (I could be wrong).
  
  I also freely admit that I gleaned this info from a guy (a.k.a male species), and an expat guy at that......Hmmmm - does that make it highly questionable info, especially in this country where it seems a great deal of effort is put into the sexes knowing as little about each other as possible.  Maybe he meant that's what the guys do??? Suffice to say, I have never gotten quite that carried away at my house visits.  Asking after her health, the hubby and the kids is usually as far as I get when I'm visiting.

 

• Take off my abaya (yay freedom!) It usually gets hung up somewhere, though one of my friends has got past the "May I take your abaya" stage and I often just drape it over a chair.
  
• A seat is offered, sometimes on a couch other times on the floor.
  
  Most homes have two rooms for receiving guests. One is a lounge similar to any western lounge with comfy sofas and armchairs. The other is a more traditional arrangement with ground level Arabic mats. Both are fine with me though those with gammy knees may find getting to the ground a little difficult.
  
• Soon after arriving Arabic coffee and dates is brought out. Enjoy this with chit chat.
  
  Arabic coffee is not cafe latte' but I've got used to it and quite enjoy it. One day I'll even try making it myself. Glenn would like to buy a qawah (coffee) set before we go home. He considers it something authentically arabic. Another arabic practice I figured out is if I empty my cup, they fill it. Same goes for food. So, when I've had enough it pays to leave a little in the cup or on the plate.

• Next up tea (shay).
  
  The tea is usually served black and sweet in those cute Arabian tea cups.  Sometimes they may have a pot of mint tea made up or they will simply have some mint leaves on a plate that you can add to the black tea yourself.  Occasionally they may also offer a ginger tea which, as well as being quite gingery, is also very sweet. I like it but those averse to sugar may not.
  
  Conversation carries on throughout this process and along with the tea comes more food - cakes, biscuits, chocolate - that kind of thing.  I have learned not to eat before visiting Saudi homes, they are very hospitable and there's always something
  

• Meal - Most visits end up with a meal of some description. Sometimes it's full blown dinner, other times a sandwich.
  
  To date casual meals have usually been eaten on the floor. A plastic covering is put down to protect the carpet (this is protocol, not because they know I drop food). I've eaten without cutlery (not that easy, I should practice more) and with cutlery, it just depends who I'm visiting, how long I've know them and what is on the menu.
  
  Full blown meals have been eaten at a table. The hostess who offers me invitations to join her family for lunch is older and loves to serve simple yet traditional meals.  Her daughters are charged with seeing to the guest (me), so my plate is one of those dished up first.  The children get their meals and the hostess is then happy to have her plate filled.  The daughters then get their meals and all adults sit down to eat at the table while the children have an area outside the dining room set aside for them to eat watched over by the maids.
  
  After the meal the bathroom is offered to wash hands and clean up. So far, every house I've been to has a separate guest bathroom. Then we move back to the lounge for even more chit chat.
  
• Saying goodbye.
  
  For most visits I usually have my driver come back to get me after two hours otherwise it can be hard to decide when to leave as Saudi's will stay hosting you as long as you choose to stay.   If other people are also visiting then some will take their leave soon after the main meal.  It is not common for guests to stick around for too long after the meal is done, unless you know the family well. 

I've gotten into the habit of taking something with me on these visits, either home baking or nice chocolates largely because I know I can't invite these women to my home to return their hospitality. Saudi's are not permitted on our compound unless the women are prepared to remove their abaya and niqab and men are not permitted in thobes.

Almond and coconut cake. 

(This is here purely to put pictures on this blog, I didn't actually make it)

There are numerous books you can buy on Amazon about culture in Saudi.   When Hubster first move here he was given this book: Don't They Know It's Friday, which was fine for him with its focus on the culture of business in Saudi Arabia.  For a more complete view of Saudi culture and etiquette then this book, Culture and Customs of Saudi Arabia (Cultures and Customs of the World), reviewed in the Saudi Aramco World magazine some years back, is worth a read.

As you can see, visiting Saudi women is actually no different from visiting friends back home, except for the language barrier (which is rapidly reducing mostly because they are very fast learners) and a few cultural differences (which aren't going to change just because I'm in town). We talk, we eat, we laugh and we enjoy each others company.  No, not much difference at all when visiting Saudi homes.

Ka Kite,
Kiwi